Friday, September 02, 2011

Why, you WHORE!

When alum failed


Hymen Deprived
“I just found out last night that my fiancee is not a virgin!” The young man before me was earnest. “Now that I know this, do you think that we should marry? Will I ever be able to trust her?”

[....]

Some may say that this girl is the exception to the rule, and that once a girl begins sexual relations, she loses her inhibitions in this regard. Many boys seem to have this point of view. This, however, is not a sound assumption. It involves, in my opinion, a male error in the understanding of the female point of view [He said he loved me and would not lose respect for me and would call me in the morning].


This 1965 article is an accurate barometer of the times.  The 60's hippie revolution had yet to get a toe hold, and mothers had not counseled their daughters on the "riding a horse or bicycle" excuse, nor had super glue been invented.  Girls then tended to remain chaste until they were pretty sure of bagging a keeper.  Anyway, the problem had been outsourced to Planned Parenthood, and chastity  hasn't been a problem since.  It's worked out swell.


13 comments:

Rodger the Real King of France said...

Is there anything Modern Mechanix didn't know?

Anonymous said...

I guess the "lady" who lived upstairs from me in '65 didn't read this. Rites of passage.

Darrell said...

I've heard it said that a slut is a woman with the mores of a man.

Jess said...

The best thing to do when you find out is to pay your buddy the fifty bucks and never make such a foolish bet again.

Juice said...

Will alum restore my hymen?
Nope.
Will a time machine restore my hymen?
Sure thing, kid. Step into my parlor.

***

Anonymous said...

Remember the Alum Hole!
Tim

Juice said...

Oh, Tim. Say it ain't so. ;)
sheeeit

JMcD said...

Referred to in Britain as "aluminimum".

Anonymous said...

Alum added to drywall mud will let it set-up quicker so you can sand sooner.

Outside of that ladies, just go with the honey.

toadold said...

When I was checking out books from the adult section of the public Library, the librarians indulged me and got careless. I remember checking out a book about fliers in the 1920's. One guy was considering marriage to a non-virgin but had his doubts and was asking a more experienced friend about it. His friend said, "Your better off with a non-virgin. I avoid virgins like the plague. It is too tricky, messy, and time consuming trying to make sure they enjoy the experience. A virgin can turn out to be a royal controlling bitch. Go for the character not the hymen."
Of course it took me some research to find out what hymen was.

B....... said...

Recipe:

1/3 alum - tighter for the peter
1/3 honey - sweeter for the eater
1/3 chicken fat - finger licking good

Anonymous said...

Nail her sister. Even Steven.

Kristophr said...

And exactly how did the groom determine this ... unless he was not a virgin?

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