Monday, November 07, 2011

Child Court

Only in a blue state






A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Washington, DC courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Washington Redskins Football Team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.


Bastids!

   Tom Mann

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds more like the Jaguars.
Tim

Anonymous said...

Nice one. Didn't see that coming :-)

Anonymous said...

I was born in D.C. (headed west as soon as I was able) and am a lifelong Skins fan. After watching the first few games of the season, I've decided I'm a lifelong Texans fan (spit on the Cowgirls). Until we get a new owner who knows something about management skills AND football, the Skins are going to look like a high school team fielding the nerds as their members.

Rodger the Real King of France said...

The year before Vince Lombardi was named coach of the Redskins, my then boss gave me two season tickets! Since I also had season tickets to the Terps, there were whole weekends spent in various parking lots, before and after games. Getting soused. Quite soused. Anyway, my bride was properly vexated over my absences, so I decided to choose. I kept the Terps tickets. Who knew? I just saw that Chris Hanburger was elected to the NFL Hall of Fame; he of course from that era. Jerry Smith ate breakfast every morning at the same Hot Shoppes where I would meet with my salesmen, and we would often exchange pleasantries. Great memories. Bob Oplinger - are you out there?

Anonymous said...

I used to have a Chris Hanburger embroidered jacket ! My 9 year old Son asked me yesterday , if we could be Green Bay fans ! Poor kid , I try to explain to Him how they used to be a good team , but I'm starting to doubt my memory ! COULD I BE GETTING OLD TIMERS ? ; 0 > SMIBSID

Anonymous said...

I'm grateful that Art Modell released me from any professional team allegiance. I get to root for the winners, and boo the losers, and change my loyalties when necessary. Truth is it all depends who you have the money riding on. Money rides best on winners. Bet the winners, and boo the losers.

Casca

Anonymous said...

He certainly would be safe here in Seattle. He could go from the Seahawks to the Mariners to the Huskys on any given day and be safe in any venue.
(He would just have to stay away from The Storm, our WNBA team. Those womenz win games).

Chuck from Tacoma

Anonymous said...

Chuck, you've been in the woods too long. We need to bring you in for some R&R.

Casca

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