Onion Parody

The Obamissariat

Obama Praises Own Strength, Resilience In Face Of Hardship During State Of The Union WASHINGTON—Recounting in detail the numerous struggles and tribulations of the past seven years, an impassioned President Obama loftily praised his own strength and resilience in the face of adversity Tuesday evening during his final State of the Union address. “In my two terms in office, this country has faced unprecedented challenges both at home and abroad, but if there is one constant amid this turmoil, if there’s one truth we can all hold onto, it’s that through it all I have remained steadfast and resolute—my perseverance never ceases to amaze me,”   said Obama, his voice swelling with pride and conviction as he noted how, time and again, he has withstood every attack or heartache that has befallen him. “From the BP oil spill, to gun violence, to ISIS—I have met every hardship with the deepest resolve. Consider how truly inspiring that is. It is a testament to my incredible determination. My fellow Americans, these are trying times, but knowing what I know about me, about the type of good person I am, there is no doubt in my mind that I will get through whatever I encounter and emerge stronger on the other side.” Obama added that it was precisely this indomitable spirit that made America great. ASIDE: Biden Urges Paul Ryan To Check Out Nude Scene From ‘Porky’s’ On Phone - onion