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I did this photochop (right) in 2005 to accompany the hilarious
account of Jummy's extensive funeral plans, control freak that he is. Much of
it, as originally recounted by the NY Post, has been lost, but News
Max cataloged some of the details.
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Jimmy
Carter has spelled out plans for his funeral in intricate detail.
During his presidency Carter was criticized for his micro-managing
every aspect of the White House – and even controlled the schedule for
the White House tennis court.
Now the former Navy officer is leaving nothing to chance with his
farewell ceremony and has even specified the movements of his remains,
box lunches, press arrangements, escorts and dark umbrellas for his
family and even a demand that soldiers can't have steel-tipped shoes.
The 80-year-old ex-president's plans, which total 411 pages, request
special index cards to record floral tributes at his funeral.
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LIFE
has already posted what appears to be his obituary. And what an
obituary! I hardly recognized the sumbitch.
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The
Wit and Wisdom of Jimmy Carter
Former president
Jimmy Carter built up a considerable reputation as a
wise statesman, a gifted diplomat, an inspiring philanthropist, and a
spiritual leader since he left the White House. Mixing the thoughts of
a keen intellectual mind with strong religious conviction and down-home
Georgia folksiness, his reflections on politics, society, and life in
general have helped Americans decide to do the right thing for decades.
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Agents told Kessler that Jimmy
Carter treated them and others who served him with utter disdain.
 "Inside the White House, Carter
treated with contempt the little people who helped and protected him,"
and told agents not to look at him or speak to him — even to say hello
— when he went to the Oval Office, Kessler disclosed.
"For three and a
half years, agent John Piasecky was on Carter's detail — including
seven months of driving him in the presidential limousine — and Carter
never spoke to him, he says.
"At the same time,
Carter tried to project an image of himself as man of the people by
carrying his own luggage when traveling. But that was often for show.
When he was a candidate in 1976, Carter would carry his own bags when
the press was around but ask the Secret Service to carry them the rest
of the time."
On one occasion,
disgruntled agents deliberately left Carter's luggage in the trunk of
his car at an airport, and Carter "was without clothes for two days."
At his home in
Plains, Ga., Carter once tried to attack and kill a small dog with a
bow saw. Agents had befriended the stray dog, a terrier, and given it
the code name Dolphin.
When the dog ate
some food Carter's wife, Rosalynn, had put out for their Siamese cat,
Carter "got the bow saw off a woodpile near the family room patio" and
"tried to kill the dog," one agent who was there told Kessler.
 Dolphin dodged the attack, but
Carter insisted that agents remove the dog from Plains. The orphan dog
was given to the press corps.
As president,
Carter needed to have the "nuclear football" at hand to enable him to
take action in case of a nuclear attack.
But the president
— code-named Deacon — refused to allow a military aide with the nuclear
football to stay in a trailer on his property in Plains. The aide had
to stay in Americus, a 15-minute drive from Carter's home, a top
military official confirmed to Kessler. [continued at Secret
Service Hated Jimmy Carter. |
In
short, everything about this man was a contrivance. I don't think
he's
the worst president in history any more, but he is the worst
ex-president.
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The president insisted that
Carter was a great man, and that he just needed “more time” to
accomplish “his great mission.”
