Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Brits Gone Starkers

More proof that bad teeth may cause insanity
The knives are expected to sell for £40-50

The first “anti-stab” knife is to go on sale in Britain, designed to work as normal in the kitchen but to be ineffective as a weapon.

The knife has a rounded edge instead of a point and will snag on clothing and skin to make it more difficult to stab someone.

It was invented by industrial designer John Cornock, who was inspired by a documentary in which doctors advocated banning traditional knives.

Mr Cornock, 42, from Swindon, said that the knife will cut vegetables, but will make it almost impossible to stab someone to death and will reduce the risk of accidental injuries.

He said: “It can never be a totally safe knife, but the idea is you can’t inflict a fatal wound. Nobody could just grab one out of the kitchen drawer and kill someone.”

The knife is expected to sell for around £40-50 and has been tested with “very favourable” results by the Home Office’s Design and Technology Alliance - set up to research products that can deter crime.

 
This, I repeat, THIS IS NO ONION PARODY
Rob

20 comments:

gunnypink said...

The best crime deterent product ever known by man is the original point n click. I can pretty well guarantee that once a criminal has been properly innoculated, he/she/they will never again be involved in any type of crime. We continue to sponsor criminal behavior by being concerned about their human welfare. As the great philosopher, Linus, once said, "I love humanity, its people I can't stand.

Rodger the Real King of France said...

The knives are bizarre; that more than one person thinks this is a good idea, terrifying.

Anonymous said...

Kind of like nationalizing the US banking and auto industries.

Casca

ET said...

Coming soon, the Hack-Proof Hatchet,
followed by the Attack-Proof Axe
and the Stab-Proof Screwdriver
then the forever popular Hit-Proof Hammer

What we REALLY need is a Wussy-Proof Woman who cannot give birth to potentially whiney-ass liberal Wimps, sort of a Moron-Proof-Mom. Could use a few Dipshit-Proof Dads, too.

Anonymous said...

Where there's a will, there's a.... So. I call bullsh*t. At least until it can't slice left to right(vice versa),

ET, there are many of us such parents out here in America besides the Palin's. As respecters of life, even Liberals can give birth...when they aren't killing their own, as you know. ;)

Anonymous said...

This the land that gave us Churchill, Mountbatton, TE Lawrence Richard Mienhartzhagen, Doug Bader?
Tenacious tough British killer heroes all. All gone, as is the country they bled for.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm. Don't need to buy a new knife for mayhem, but get out the straight razor.
Lt. Col. Gen. Tailgunner dick

Anonymous said...

Yep,

Guns get outlawed and stabbing deaths spike. sooo. outlaw pointy knives. someday they will ban rocks too.

Thor~

Kristopher said...

It can still be used by jihaddis to cut off heads, so it will be a great hit in Britain.

Anonymous said...

Since this is anonymous I guess I can tell it now. When I was 13 I killed a kid with a KFC spork, just to watch him die. Well, and for taking the last drumstick.

Anymouse

Anonymous said...

So somebody is supposed to spend abt $100 for a knife with no point that won't do half the stuff you need a kitchen knife to do. And nowhere can I find anything about what they're made of [truly high quality knives are significantly more expensive than these]. In any case, I can see spending $100 for something that stops me from being stabbed, but the other guy???

Baddog said...

So.....how long before the Brits figure out they need to ban files and bench grinders?

Anonymous said...

Anymouse is a sailor.
Tim

Randy Rager said...

Tha hell?! You can still slash with damned thing!

Billll said...

They remind me of nothing so much as the blunt-tipped swords the Danes carried when they came to England to help spread the wealth around.

markshere2 said...

1D10TS!

Usta be in adjudicating knife crimes:
Stab= Misdemeanor
Slash=Felony.

Them there slashes is much more worser.

Dumberer and dumberer yet!

pdwalker said...

Actually, the inventor is pretty smart. He's taking advantage of the new anti knife laws in England to make some money. The morons will buy!

Now, the whole anti knife thing, now that's stupid.

JMcD said...

I think Englang should go all the way and ban silencers on knives.

eyes wide open said...

As in every problem liberalism try's to address, they only ever focus on the symptoms. The real question is why someone would use a knife to kill another. Address that.

Why are the poor poor? Why are the uneducated uneducated? Why are teens being impregnated? Why are drugs destroying our communities? So on and so forth.......

Liberalism is notoriously resistant to addressing the responsibility one has for their behavior and disease. They would rather live with the disease and try to mitigate it's symptoms than to address sin for what it is....Sin. These folks resist the notion of sin by ignoring it and focusing on covering it up. The problem is that sin is cancerous and it spreads.... it becomes hard and impossible to reckon with if not addressed. Sin always makes callous the conscience which leads down a road of no return. Until man addresses his disease for what it is he will never me whole.

pdwalker said...

JMcD, why stop there? I think they should amputate the hands of everyone over the age of three as well.

That'll do it, this time for sure!

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