Curmudgeonly & Skeptical presents Boned Jello: Junk by any name

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Junk by any name

The Chocolate War

and other disasters

Three years ago I purchased a chocolate fountain at BJ's for $19.95. Why? I like a little flair at family to-dos, and $20 seemed like a steal of a deal. I gifted Mo-Sup with it for Christmas. She, lacking my love of gadgetry, rolled her eyes. And, after reading that you couldn't just toss a bag a Nestle chocolate chips into the thing, but had to buy special pellets, and the 6 hour cleanup after each use, I asked the kids who wanted a free chocolate fountain? No takers, only jeers. So I secreted it in the back of Ro's car. A few week's later I found it in the back of my van, so at first opportunity it went into Greeps's car, and then everyone's car after being bounced back. Ro even got it a second time. I thought about using it once and throwing it out, but have never seen those special chocolate pellets. I also considered a mushroom soup fountain, but too much trouble. It sits yet in the garage, unpacked. I mention this because the chocolate fountain is first on this list of 20 Utterly Pointless Kitchen Appliances.

Note: Aside from the turkey baster and electric knife, both of which I've found useful, I'm in total agreement with this list.

Rodger the Real King of France 10/29/2009 07:57:00 AM 15 Comments

"If the number of Islamic terror attacks continues at the current rate, candlelight vigils will soon be the number-one cause of global warming. "
Argus Hamilton

15 comments:

DonM said...: Why don'tcha just put water in it and place it in the back yard as a bird bath/waterer? In the Summertime of course.; 10/29/09, 8:12 AM
Anonymous said...: A friend had a device with a stiff wire sticking up from a base. The 1 1/2 inch wire had a bend on the end. You pushed a raw egg onto it and it spun around and scrambled it in the shell. The single most useless invention I have ever seen.
Tim; 10/29/09, 8:22 AM
DonM said...: That contraption has a heater. DUH. Use it during the winter for the birds.; 10/29/09, 8:39 AM
Rodger the Real King of France said...: Ah that I could, in which case it would be a Manhattan fountain. It uses a screw-auger mechanism to distribute the chocolate, so a certain viscosity must be maintained.; 10/29/09, 8:53 AM
Rodger the Real King of France said...: But wait Don! I have a little pump that would be perfect for the job. I'll try it.; 10/29/09, 8:54 AM
Anonymous said...: We just won one of those, I look forward to dismantling it for interesting parts. The turkey baster is a needed tool everywhere BUT the kitchen, I use it for sucking up liquids like overfilled brake fluid and the last water out of a toilet before removal.

Also useless: we dropped $50 on a juicer this summer, used it twice, it's now in storage.

I recently spotted a used popcorn machine and was seriously tempted. The kids were with me but Mrs. Annoyed was very much not, space being her main objection. I let that one go because of the price, but if I see a good deal I'll face her objection and get it. Fun for parties, and while microwave is good, there's nothing like popcorn made in a real machine!

AWM; 10/29/09, 9:45 AM
BlogDog said...: If you wan to make great popcorn, get a Whirly-Pop (I might have that name wrong) stovetop popper. Faster than microwaving a bag and it leaves maybe 2 kernels unpopped.; 10/29/09, 9:59 AM
Gayle Miller said...: The electric knife is not useless. They are excellent for cutting thick sheets of foam when you're making a custom made headboard for your bed! Of course, with any luck you only need to do that one time!

I got my electric knife at a Goodwill store for that purpose, used it and then re-donated it! I hate clutter!; 10/29/09, 10:06 AM
Anonymous said...: and to further bust your balloon; those pellets...
not real chocolate.
not real food, actually.

Can't wait to see the bird bath/skating rink!
; >

e~C; 10/29/09, 10:07 AM
Anonymous said...: Bread machine...love mine. Use it often to make pizza dough also for calzones. Winter day slow cooker and bread cooker. House smells great, taste great, time saver.

Electric knife is used on turkey breast and thick foam padding for various projects. ditto Gayle Miller.

Juice; 10/29/09, 11:29 AM
Anonymous said...: If you have too much life insurance and don't trust your wife, get her an electric knife, and take away the others. She can't kill you with it beyond the length of the cord.
See, silver linings everywhere!
—DougM; 10/29/09, 11:41 AM
TechnoYid said...: Use regular dark chocolate.

Heat the chocolate and crisco into a soggy mess in a microwave. Not too hot, but pourable.

Turn on the fountain, put in the greasy chocolate, and you don't need (or want) their fake chocolate pellets.; 10/29/09, 12:36 PM
Anonymous said...: Things on that list I've found useful:
Electric Knife
Bread Maker
Fondue Pot (although I generally use a slow cooker for the same applications nowadays)
Electric Pasta Maker (I suppose not so useful if you don't make pasta regularly, though)

Never used a turkey baster, myself, but I certainly see the applications.

And, hey, it's not like the author of this piece's list of '37 Kitchen Gadgets that Every Geek Should Own' (link found on the side of that article) isn't full of things that should be on this list.

That said, I agree with a number of the things on the list, but in some cases it's only 'useless' if you don't use it.; 10/29/09, 1:01 PM
Anonymous said...: I'm surprised that nobody ID'ed the wrestlers as Peter and Paul. I mean, look at the chocolate covered MOUNDS! \smirk_

Kelly in Mesquite; 10/29/09, 6:42 PM
Bob Hawkins said...: Heck, I have a whole oven in my kitchen that I've never used.

Turing word: "fringurn". Weren't they a minor tribe in Lord of the Rings? But then, any random ASCII string has a 30% chance of being in Lord of the Rings.; 10/29/09, 9:40 PM

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Junk by any name

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