Sammy's Story

Mommy, tell us again how you saved Sammy the squirrel.

... lived happily for 22 minutes.

The phone rang at 3 AM and he was hiding.

11:39    badanov    Someone at RedState just pointed out that we spent eight of the Bush years (after 9/11) without an attack on Americans Not even six ... months in to the Obamanation, and a ship gets attacked. Way to go, Obamanation...

Depicted above   “To The Shores of Tripoli” (artist Raymond Massey) commemorates the 200th anniversary of the U.S.S.  Constitution- Captain John Paul Jones firing the first of 17 nuclear cruise missiles that reduced current day Lybia to an ash heap.  There was no more piracy.  Until last week. “ Within days of his March 1801 inauguration as the third President of the United States, Thomas Jefferson ordered a naval and military expedition to North Africa, without the authorization of Congress, to put down regimes involved in slavery and piracy. The war was the first in which the U.S. flag was carried and planted overseas; it saw the baptism by fire of the U.S. Marine Corps--whose anthem boasts of action on "the shores of Tripoli"--and it prefigured later struggles with both terrorism and jihad. The U.S. had never menaced or quarreled with any of the Muslim powers. As Jefferson later reported to the State Department and Congress, "Their Ambassador answered us that it was founded on the Laws of their Prophet, that it was written in their Koran, that all nations who should not have acknowledged their authority were sinners, that it was their right and duty to make war upon them wherever they could be found, and to make slaves of all they could take as Prisoners." Jefferson's recommendation was that the Administration refuse any payment of tribute and prepare at once to outfit a naval squadron to visit the Mediterranean in strength. [Time] ”

Council on Modesty

Modesty Inquisition

Are they?

"Nip Capped" and modest

In my capacity of ordained internet Bishop, a position higher than either of the Revs. Jackson or Sharpton, certain moral questions fall into my lap, and must be attended to.  Let's consider the top picture then.  While decidedly risqué in my yoot, these halter tops meet minimal standards of public decency today.  The nipples are covered.  That's where the line seems to be drawn, wot? No nips, no sin. And of course that does make certain sense, because what is a breast without a nipple?  Just another wattle.  But here comes the tricky part.  As you'll note on the roll-over, the young ladies are technically observing proper modesty by wearing nipple caps, even though they look like nipples.  So what judgment should I pass on this accoutrement?  This was difficult, because as a world renowned expert on nipples, I see immediately that they are capped, and don't give them a never-mind. However, it's quite possible that the average person would not see the distinction, and as a consequence, through no fault of their own, would have smutty thoughts. I therefore rule that nipple nipple caps are immodest.   So signed and sealed, this day.

Easter and Basketball

Todays death by meatball

The teacher asked class if they knew what Easter meant.  "I know" said Johhny.  "Easter is when the Easter Bunny comes out of his cave, and if he sees his shadow it means 6 more weeks of basketball."

Democrats "Fix" Everything

Just check our record!

Obama sees 'glimmers of hope' -- reflecting from the puddles?

Theme Music courtesy of Rick Beckham

Personal relief and turkey basting

The RECTO ROTOR

From the olden times when we didn't need no stinkin' gummint health care

The RECTO ROTOR Lubricating Dilator is still the only improvement ever made on the common "dilator" which hitherto was the most successful application for the relief of Piles and Constipation.  Today, by simply changing unguents, it's made more versatile than ever.  A sage unguent will nicely baste your Thanksgiving turkey, and then there's Doc Johnson's® line of personal unguents that open Pandora's Box of "vital spot" remedies.  Let's return to those days of self reliance, and tell gummint, "I ain't paying for no stinking commie health care."

Cuba Got "Change" in 1959

Today's Awards

Denny wins two major awards for this Cuba got "CHANGE" in 1959 bumper sticker, and for his insightful observation about Chuckles Schumer:   “ Yannow, someone ruined a perfect prick when they put ears on this dude. ”