Thursday, September 09, 2010

In a flash it was gone


O Club SherryEver see the Budweiser 911 tribute played on the first year anniversary of September 11? Probably not.. they only ran it once.

Bill Murray did not write this story

Bill Murray did not write this story

1:30 I begin the walk to the Alamodome, somehow managing to stuff the "Traveler" and 11 cans of  beer into my pants.

1:47 I am in line surrounded by Nebraska fans. They are taunting me. I am taunting back, still certain that we are going to kick the shit out of Nebraska. I decide to challenge a particularly vocal Nebraska fan to play what I now call and will forever be remembered as "Cell-Phone Flop Out." Remember flop out for a dollar? The rules are similar. I tell this Nebraska jackass that if he's so confident in his team, he should "flop out" his cell phone RIGHT NOW and make plane reservations to Phoenix for the Fiesta Bowl. And then I spoke these memorable words: "And not those damn refundable tickets, either! You request those non-refundable, non-transferrable sons-of-bitches!" He backs down. He is unworthy. I call Southwest Airlines and buy two tickets to Phoenix, non-refundable and non-transferrable. Price: $712. He is humbled. He lowers his head in shame. I raise my cell phone in triumph to the cheers of hundreds of Texas fans. I am KING and these are my subjects. I distribute the 11 beers in my pants to the cheering masses. I RULE the pre-game kingdom.


Burning Koreans

I am totally opposed to burning the Koreans!

I am totally opposed to the burning of Koreans! What in the world did the Koreans do that someone would want to burn them. I knew a Korean - he cleaned our offices. A prince of a guy. He was a little hard to understand, but what crime is that! What has the world come to!!! - PetroniusMaximus

How Sweet

Poll: Rubio 43, Crist 29, Meek 23

All I see are perpetrators here

Boned Jello

Things are very bad. The recession is hitting hard here, on top of a very unfriendly, uncertain and even punitive climate for business in Chicago, Cook County and Illinois.

The business guys I know (small and medium-sized) all say they would leave if they could, and would never move here if they weren’t here already.
One of the jokes circulating among my friends is that Blago should run. My response was, what is Lee Kwan Yew doing these days? We could use him there.

My wife’s first reaction: “We should have sold our house when we had the chance. Now we are going to turn into Detroit.”

A lot of people have to be thinking this way. 
Chigago Boyz

Coming soon to a cornfield near you

Today's Crystal Ball

Boned Jello

Boned Jello

You can fall down an elevator shaft too as far as anyone cares

Obama says GOP hopes 'I fail'
Fuckin'A man.  And it's not just the GOP. God bless America!

Your cat's on the roof ..

Baba Dooby-doob

This Explains a Lot
Please call me 'Senator Groovy' dude.
Boned Jello
I know what you're saying.
"But Rodge, it was Boxer's senior aide who got busted smuggling dope into her office." 
Right. And just who the hell supplies this twit with her talking points, and questions to ask during committee hearings? 

Rightnetwork Launches

A Science Experiment

Question: What do you get when you cross Kelsey Grammer, jungle animals, politics and a smooth jazz soundtrack?

Answer: A ridiculous video promoting the launch of Rightnetwork.

Launched yesterday, it's way early to be predicting how successful Rightnetwork will be.  However, I've found a reliable bellwether in these matters is to look at the asshat left response as a gauge to the perceived threat.   Example: Sarah Palin.  Her surprise selection as McCain's running mate two years ago ='d  mass left-tard hysteria. Within days McCain took his first lead in some polls, and the entire television news and entertainment universe was devoted to trashing her.  "Unqualified hick hack" ; "no experience" ; "poor speaker without a teleprompter"; "no birth certificate ," blah, blah, blah.  Between SNL skits however, the left found it necessary to trigger "ruin the economies of every nation on Earth," a.k.a.  Plan B From Outer Space in order to save Obama's ass.    It is then a scientific certainty that threat level is directly proportional to the level of smug, condescending, and ad hominem insults forthcoming. Segue TV HUNTER

"Today, we step forward get the party started … because that's how we roll, like a powerful elephant and a nimble gazelle combo -- a gazelephant. We step forward like a gazelephant," Grammer said. 

The whole "gazelephant" thing makes it hard to take Rightnetwork seriously as a substantive entrant into the political discourse. Also, a man of Grammer's age should not use the phrase "that's how we roll." Ever.

Rightnetwork's TV offerings include "Running," a series that profiles first-time political candidates, and "Moving Numbers," a sitcom about a political campaign. Representative examples of Rightnetwork's online content include a blog post titled [OMFG!] "Thank God for Market Capitalism" and an essay encouraging readers to take pride in the superiority of American culture [you bastids!].

However, based on Grammer's embarrassing, awkward launch presentation, I doubt any of Rightnetwork's competitors are shaking in their boots.
Finally, Hunter Walker's most precious comment. "If Rightnetwork manages to succeed, it's the execs at conservative cable network Fox News who would be feeling the pain."  OMG, I forgot all about the quota.