Tuesday, December 28, 2010


All We Got

My Movie Reviews

I Don't Need to See Them to Rate Them

Cuzzin Brian the Movie Guy does his year-end 15 I hated and 15 I loved.  I took some of them and did my own reviews (in red).  I've seen enough movies that I no longer have to see them to be pretty much spot-on.  But, you decide.

INCEPTION (with Leonardo DiCaprio)
Satisfyingly intricate, approachably intelligent, ground-breakingingly vivid, thunderously action-packed, mind numbingly intense and thrillingly heart-pounding. It’s a masterfully made and riveting piece of cinema.
DiCaprio reminds me of a wuss, so this movies sucks

THE SOCIAL NETWORK (with Jesse Eisenberg)
A tightly-wound drama that fires so well on all pistons (directing, writing, acting, cinematography, music, etc). A fascinating movie about privacy, ownership, insecurity, competition and social hierarchy.
Too much room for leftist political input, sucks

TRUE GRIT (with Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon)
Truly dirty, truly dusty, truly gritty. A briskly-paced, creatively-written, expertly-acted, vividly-violent and sure-handed movie that easily finds a spot among the top westerns of all time. It’s brilliant at every turn. TRUE GRIT is a true hit!
Jeff Bridges good.  Matt Damon puke.  But, it's from the Coen Bros, and maybe Matt Damon dies a horrible grizzly death, so on balance -- almost Academy Award.

RED (with Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich and Helen Mirren)
An off-beat, action-packed and romantic MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE meets THE BUCKET LIST hybrid that moves with such a hip, comical and aggressively-casual cinematic fluidity that it’s almost impossible not to enjoy.
Good cast.  Academy Award.

SECRETARIAT (with Diane Lane and John Malkovich)
The stakes aren’t that high (like in SEABISCUIT) and it never shies away from its formulaic and predictable roots but SECRETARIAT still remains a well-acted, exhilarating and heartwarming Disney sports drama. It’s inspirational and great for the entire family. Secretariat…was a stud!
Diane Lane does great sex scenes (right), but with a horse?  Malkovich is getting greedy.  Sucks.

THE A-TEAM (with Liam Neeson and Bradley Cooper)
Out of control, over the top and cheesy. Turn your brain off and enjoy this big, bright, shiny, non-stop, laugh out loud, high-wattage, big budget, blow ‘em up, double-cross, Hollywood, explosion-filled, well acted, chase fest. It’s basically the cinematic equivalent of drinking a double red bull and vodka thru a straw made of licorice. I pity the fool who misses it…
I'll trust Brian on this one.  Academy Award.

(with Natalie Portman)
FIGHT CLUB meets FAME in this darkly off-beat, beautifully stirring and unnervingly-twisted movie. It’s definitely not for everyone but this whacked-out bird soars!
Fight Club meets Fame reminds me of Don't Ask Don't Tell meets the Marine Corps.  Sucks.

THE KARATE KID (with Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan)
A subdued Jackie Chan and a charismatic Fresh Prince Jr. not only deliver a beautifully poignant love letter to the imagery and culture of China but, and this is the most important part, a family friendly (ages 7+ recommended), crowd pleasing, feel good flick that’ll make you stand up and cheer…and maybe even strike the Crane pose!
I hated the original Ka-Snotty Kid, and remakes are always worse than the original.  Sucks big time.

THE FIGHTER (with Mark Wahlberg and Christian Bale)
An interesting story with expert direction and powerful performances, THE BOXER injects this otherwise formulaic sports saga with tensions of family that ultimately give it true heart. The real bouts are fought in the living room…when the gloves are off. THE BOXER is tough. THE BOXER is scrappy. THE BOXER will knock you out!
As much as was disinclined to do so, I've liked everything Marky Mark has done, and Christian Bale really throws himself into a film.  Academy Award.,

THE BOOK OF ELI (with Denzel Washington)
A simplistic, spiritually action-packed, non-preachy, post-apocalyptic, word-of-God western that dazzles with equal parts faith, hope and butt-kicking mayhem. Hallelujah, amen – I loved it!
Denzel is way overexposed.  Who cares.

THE TOWN (with Ben Affleck)
Say what you want about Affleck (lord knows I have) but he knocks this Boston crime movie out of the ‘pawk’! Yes, it feels a lot like HEAT or THE DEPARTED and the title is more than a little generic but inside it’s a gritty, turbulent, moody, perfectly cast and smartly written movie that burns with a white hot intensity. Visit THE TOWN!
with Ben Affleck says it all. This movie sucks.

The story is unshockingly familiar – but, the movie still dazzles! Vivid animation, fun characters, exciting action and it puts you in the what’s-it-like-to-fly seat almost as well as anything we saw in AVATAR.
Didn't see Avatar but it sucked, so does this.

Cuzzin Brian the Movie Guy has more, and he actually saw the movies he reviews.

2010 Notable Quotables

The Poison Tea Pot Award for
Smearing the Anti-Obama Rabble

Tavis Smiley (92 points)

Author Ayaan Hirsi Ali, talking about radical Muslims: “Somehow, the idea got into their minds that to kill other people is a great thing to do and that they would be rewarded in the hereafter.”

Host Tavis Smiley: “But Christians do that every single day in this country.”

Ali: “Do they blow people up every day?”

Smiley: “Yes. Oh, Christians, every day, people walk into post offices, they walk into schools, that’s what Columbine is — I could do this all day long....There are folk in the Tea Party, for example, every day who are being recently arrested for making threats against elected officials, for calling people ‘nigger’ as they walk into Capitol Hill, for spitting on people. That’s within the political — that’s within the body politic of this country.”
— PBS’s Tavis Smiley, May 25. [MP3 Audio]

Find your favorite

The Twenty-Third Annual Awards for the Year’s Worst Reporting

These are always precious

New Hampshire

 New Hampshire's new motto:
'Live politely or die'

Thus, the statute covers, among other things,

  1. Several blog posts using “offensively coarse language” about a local politician, businessman, activist, professor, and so on said with a “purpose to annoy” the subject or his friends.
  2. Several blog posts or alternative newspaper articles using “offensively coarse language” about a race, religion, or political movement said with a “purpose to annoy” members of the group.
  3. Several facebook posts or chat room messages using “offensively coarse language” to condemn an ex-lover who has, say, cheated on the author (or otherwise allegedly mistreated the author), said with a “purpose to annoy” the ex-lover.
  4. Several facebook posts using “offensively coarse language” to condemn some service provider — lawyer, doctor, plumber, or what have you — for that provider’s alleged mistreatment or poor service, said with a “purpose to annoy” the service provider.

There goes New Hampshire

Repeat 100 Times:

It will be an offense against the Republic, and the Constitution, not to hang these New Hampshire MFCS by their MFCS necks.  Or slash their MFCS tires (for pacifists).


For those who doubt me: Do the Math!

Asshats Est

Today's Legal Stuff
ipsissima verba demando de
lunatico inquiriendo auscultare *

The incoming president of The Business Roundtable, which was once President Obama’s strongest ally in the private sector, said Monday that much of the group’s work on health care over the next two years will be looking for how Obama’s health care overhaul might “threaten” the ability of employers to continue providing insurance.Business Roundtable to scrutinize Obamacare for problems blah-blah-blah

* Legalese for "Anyone who listens to these asshats must submit proof of  sanity.  Carries the death penalty.
RATS AHOY- Business Round Table

Don't get me wrong.  I'\m tickled that wanting an appearance of sense and reason is holding sway, but these organizations have forfeited any expectation that people will give a rat's ass about what they say.  That rhymes.

Which will be harder to defeat?

1000 Words

Allen West, et al

A Warrior Goes To Washington
There are some candidates who are fairly standard politicians, who adopt the 'tea party' rhetoric ... and then I think there are some politicians who are really fundamentally more tea party-ist than politician, and I think [Republican Rep.-elect Allen] West fits into that category -  Professor Kevin Wagner/WaTimes
The GOP benefited, but the November election results that shifted the balance of power was more a case of  "in spite of," than "because of" the old guard.  What I learned from the 1994 earthquake election (that gave Republicans a majority in both houses for the first time in 40 years)  was there was damned little difference going on in its aftermath. My view is that our last best chance to save a great nation depends entirely on the likes of Allen West being successful, and propagating.  It'll be tough, because the old bulls still hold the committe chairs, and nary a one of them has the right stuff.  It's important then that the Allan Wests have our loud voices behind them.  USA UAS USA!

Nation's Pulse

Boned Jello
President Obama just unveiled a plan to shut down Guantanamo for good, he's going to turn it into a small business and let the economy do the rest. - Angus H

Vice president Joe Biden said ... you can't prosecute people for embarrassing the United States. If that were true, Joe Biden would be serving life in prison. - Leno

The census shows there are more than 308 million people living in America. The amazing part is: More than half of those people are Americans. - Leno

Congress repealed the “don’t ask, don’t tell” law. The Pentagon can now start production on “Iraq: The Musical.”  - Letterman