Thursday, June 02, 2011

Another Clinton Piece of Crap

Appointed By:
    President William Clinton



Number 1 in the Number 2 Business


The Drunk Kitchen

The Drunk Kithcen 

Language (Ef word)

Okay, yeah yeah yeah; drunk isn't funny.  Oh yes it is—  if it isn't your drunk.  And if you're a cute little bird. It's a series. Srsly.

Clap off clothing

If you're not happy and you know it clap your hands

  He's got knickers with flashing fairy lights, others that glow in the dark, a bra-and-knickers set shaped like manicured women's hands enveloping the wearer's crotch and breasts.

In a slightly higher price range, he's got remote-controlled bras and knickers, designed to spring open and fall to the floor with a clap of the hands or a press of a button. [BBC]

Boned Jello

Focus - The clap-off bra and garage door opener, or vice versa

A Novel

Special pre-publishing peek at my new novel, "I SAID I WANTED 'CHOVIE'S"

"What are you doing— what is that thing," the captive gasped?

"This? This is a 12 volt battery.  These are jumper cables." He pointed at the man's crotch, "and those are your wee balls."

The captive's naked body was restrained in a metal chair, by what looked like seat belts.  He could see the shadowy figures of  maybe  a half dozen people. Two appeared to be women.  The single  bulb hanging overhead, the only light in the room, a garage perhaps, was the stuff of B movies. A blinking red light from a tripod mounted video camera meant this was being taped.

"Do you know who the fuck I am? "  demanded the captive?  "Do you have any idea of the forces being mobilized to find me?  And  you?"

"No asshole.  We randomly snatch people from the Congressional Country Club golf course, after neutralizing a small army of armed guards, with no idea who we're snatching. Are you— I don't know? Are you Trini Lopez?  Brad Pitt? Lady Gaga? "

The leader touched the cable leads, held just inches from the captive's eyes.   Snap!  They crackled, producing bright sparks. An electric ozone smell filled the space. .

"Who are you people? You'll be lucky to just spend the rest of your lives in prison for this," threatened the captive. 

His  bravado wasn't feigned, reeking instead of  arrogant defiance. The leader's wan smile disappeared entirely.

"Oh my.  I guess we're all to cock then.  But then,  you're all airy-fairy yourself right now, wouldn't you agree? So you—   you Mr. important person, are here to  tell me everything I want to know."

The threat was punctuated by another SNAP! Another brief crackling light show. 

"To insure that we get everything we want, we'll start with these clamped to your  balls. I hear it's painful as a root canal.  Then, after we discover you've been lying to us, we'll move to — are you  familiar with the term water boarding?  A nasty business. The Pope would turn Baptist after just a few hours of it.  So trust me, you will cooperate.

"What in hell are you talking about!?"  What do I have to tell you? Security codes?   What the fuck  am I supposed to say?" 

The captive's fear was now palpable, and smelling of ammonia.  When the leader briefly touched the electrodes to  his nose, he yelped. Urine had  involuntarily streamed, leaving a puddle on the concrete floor.  The leader suppressed a grin at the thought  "free electrolyte." 

  "What do we want?  Everything. You will tell us everything. Starting with how you came to earth."

Chapter II, pp 42

Weiner Fall-Out

women prefer pictures from gay guys 

  If you think sending that special someone a photograph of your erect penis is a good idea, think again. WaPo's Monica Hesse asked a few average, ordinary American women -- such as a lawyer in Washington, a porn photographer in San Francisco, and a "women's sexual function" psychologist in Las Vegas -- what sorts of pictures they'd most like to get from a man. Their answers: a made bed with rose petals on it, folded laundry, a clean refrigerator, a hand holding a pan that was just used to cook dinner, and a shelf of books organized alphabetically and by genre. So according to the Washington Post, women prefer pictures from gay guys.

Weiners Pride

via Daily Caller

No power

Okay. Everyone turn their A/C off so my power stays on longer than 2 minu