Golden Poop
 CRAP |
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
9 comments:
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pdwalker said...
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What crap.
Gold is a great heat conductor. Can you imagine sitting your warm tush down on it during the winter?
No thanks! -
1/14/14, 9:52 AM
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David aka True Blue Sam said...
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The cold-gold seat problem was solved long ago:
Toilet Seats
While I am emulating Keats
My brother fabrics toilet seats,
The which, they say, are works of art,
Aesthetic features of the mart;
So exquisitely are they made
With plastic of a pastel shade,
Of topaz, ivory or rose,
Inviting to serene repose.
Rajahs I'm told have seats of gold,--
(They must, I fear, be very cold).
But Tom's have thermostatic heat,
With sympathy your grace to greet.
Like silver they are neon lit,
Making a halo as you sit:
Then lo! they play with dulcet tone
A melody by Mendelssohn.
Oh were I lyrical as Yeats
I would not sing of toilet seats,
But rather serenade a star,--
Yet I must take things as they are.
For even kings must coyly own
Them as essential as a throne:
So as I tug the Muse's teats
I envy Tom his toilet seats.
From: Rhymes For My Rags by Robert W Service 1956 I think the whole point of this poem is Robert Service wanted an excuse to slip "teats" into a poem. -
1/14/14, 10:17 AM
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pdwalker said...
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That's very good.
The Japanese have fantastic toilet seats, heated being one of their lesser features. I'm always afraid that I'll die by electrocution using them (it happens! the Japanese are a mad, man, mad bunch)
I am willing to bet that that gold throne has not a lick of heat anywhere. -
1/14/14, 10:29 AM
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Anonymous said...
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Craptacular.
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1/14/14, 12:10 PM
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Helly said...
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Whoa! David really pulled that post out of the crapper. Good team play.
*clap*clap*clap* -
1/14/14, 12:50 PM
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Anonymous said...
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Or you can just drink a lot of Goldschläger. Costs less and if you're going to be on your knees examining contents of the toilet bowl you might as well make it a two-fer.
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1/14/14, 1:48 PM
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Anonymous said...
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"Teats" does not rhyme with "seats."
Just sayin... -
1/14/14, 4:40 PM
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Rodger the Real King of France said...
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does too
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1/14/14, 5:17 PM
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iri said...
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Huh. Fancy toilet seats, $6k or so for some models. Hell, I thought they were all still crapping through holes in the floor.
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1/14/14, 6:51 PM
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