"If you're trying to change minds and influence people it's probably not a good idea to say that virtually all elected Democrats are liars, but what the hell."
"If the number of Islamic terror attacks continues at the current rate, candlelight vigils will soon be the number-one cause of global warming. "
For so many of these one liners you post, I hear Steven Wright delivering them. That's a good thing.
Juice, Wright or Youngman both probably said it.
I've taken to shaving just one leg. That way when I'm in bed it feels like I'm sleeping with a woman.I was stunned when I discovered the local cops now carry Tasers.Last night my two friends and I ordered a cheese platter to share; we had a fromage a trois.I saw an ad for a "Pirate GPS". It tells you exactly where you Arr.
For stealing a calendar I got 12 months. Luigi
now we're in a proper groove!
And here's one for all the clairvoyants amongst us:Sir H the Comet
Luigi, did you get 12 months in Leavenworth? You coulda got 11 months in Twelveworth!Q. Where's the best place to weigh a pie?A. Somewhere over the rainbow!
The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at large.Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.Tim
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