Unforgivable, and unforgiven

It's been fun Angelina Jolie girl, but after a rigorously brief overview of your profile, I wanted to let you know that I have already married and divorced you in my mind.  Thanks for all the imaginary memories ... you will always have a place in my heart. Your ex, The Real King of France P.S. You keep the cats and kids, I'll keep the house in Staad.

John Travolta Feels Safe in the Closet

Trapped in the Closet Get More: SOUTH PARKmore...

Too slick by half

Donald Duck Meets Glenn Beck in "Right Wing Radio Duck"

Technically well done, but so heavily left-handed that it loses its intended value as agitprop.  Wish I was in the mood to re-edit it.

Paris Captioned

Deciding whether to handle Paris Hilton's case.

Académies des snide

fugly is the new pretty being schooled here boss

“ Irrefugstable Fug file: grey The plus side here for J.Simp is that her latest might not be as bad as several of the photos in this collection. The negative, of course, is that it's still not good: From having seen her in person at this event -- the Project Runway finale -- I can confirm she had so much makeup on her face that I seriously suspect she might've caked orange foundation on every square inch of visible skin just so that she'd be a uniform color. Too bad the color is Orange Julius. And I'm not sure I can even talk about how unflattering the top is on her. Child, you are DATING a football player, not trying to look like one. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com] ” I know Jessica Simpson only as an object of scornful commentary by celebrity buzzers.  Is she a singer, an actor, Lady Gaga? Don't answer; I don't care. What fascinates me with the celebrity observation blogs (like Agent BedHead ) is the sardonic and pithy writing style that pervades. It's a skill particularly useful when talking about politicians, a C&S mainstay.  These sites then are Académies des snide, places to hone one's delivery.  Go Fug Yourself has Ivy League status in the genre. And, it makes me laugh.

Self sacrifice

Hollywood finds relevancy

Angry is no more ...

“The fear I experienced then made me poop on my horses.”

And other poorly translated , if not wonderfully descriptive, subtitles

Gary's Casket

idea credit: Merrily

John Wayne AWK!

sigh

Say it's not true Duke!

The LOOK

The Look

I didn't watch the Oscars, and would have no idea what the back-story is here.  But watch Sandra Bullock, here winning the Oscar, and her facial and  body language as hubby congratulates her.  Every married man knows that look, and knows he's in trouble for something (hopefully, not for the same reason).

Guess the celebrity

Guess - being careful not to touch the picture and revealing the rollover cheat sheet

Mick Jagger?

Gutfeld uses an axe

Gutfeld Does Bishop Sheen Bishop of the druggie whore bangers that is

Charlie Sheen - Moonbat

Nothing lends credibility to your conspiracy theory - like a fantasy interview with the President. Alex Jones interviews Charlie Sheen.

“ bwahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!   I was dying.  he even has BO tivo'ing his stupid ass tv show?  what a fucking ego. when does your bullshit meter go off?  really? mystery blogger ”

celebrity

Cally personified by a clown

Fans Flock to Mourn California, 1849-2009

Iowahawk

“ LOS ANGELES - Millions of fans from around the globe gathered along Sunset Boulevard to pay final respects to California today, as a slow moving funeral procession transported the eccentric superstar state's remains to its final resting place in a Winchell's Donuts dumpster in Van Nuys. The self-proclaimed 'King of Pop Culture' died last week at 160, in what coroners ruled an accidental case of financial autoerotic asphyxiation. The death sent shock waves across the world and sparked an outpouring of grief by rabid fans. "I don't care what the tabloids and the Wall Street Journal say," said a weeping Illinois. "I still love you, Cali!" [cont] ”

OUCH

MJ Joke

Today's Most Awful Joke Ever!

Carradine's Choke Hold

CSI MIAMI

The Chicken Choked Back!

Tim W

The Pitt and the Penn - Da Dum

“Sean Penn beat off Brad Pitt…”

... these are direct quotes - Rachael Lucas

The Execution of Bill and Hillary

Today's WTF

My kids are movie aficionados, and all of then gave Benjamin Buttons a throw-up.  Two, Greep and Joe,walked out of it.  That's quite a gulf between this Oscar hype, so what's up?  Is Benjamin Buttons a metaphor for Barack Osama?  WTF?  And while I'm at it ... I'm bombarded with hype for yet another Nixon hate move, Frost/Nixon,.  Whose idea was it to make this film?  I mean, there are already more than 40  in the can, so how is it that Hollywood dickwad Ron Howard thought, "What the world wants is another one?" Meanwhile, how many Clinton movies have been made?  Exactly none.  Primary Colors only alluded, and The Path to 9/11, although documenting the Clinton Administration's criminal ineptness, focused on the broader topic.  Films about individual Clinton scandals would exceed 40 by themselves, and be ever more entertaining.  Plus, the bulk of today's movie goers actually remember them.  Box office for the fantasy film, "The Execution of Bill and Hillary, would blow the Bush Assassination Film off the charts.