Sunday, March 16, 2008

Little People

The Horth Withperer



Bob calls his buddy Sam, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse.  Sam asks "How will I recognize him?"

"That's easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment."

So, the midget shows up, and Sam asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse. 
"A female horth."
So he shows him a prized filly. 
"Nith lookin' horth. Can I thee her eyeth?"
Sam picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.
"Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth?"
So he picks the little fella up again and shows him the horse's ears. 
"Nith earzth, can I thee her mouf?"
The rancher is gettin' pretty irritated at this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth.
"Nith mouf, can I thee her twat?"
Totally ticked at this point, the rancher grabs the midget under his arms and rams his head as far as he can up the horse's undercarriage, pulls him out and slams him on the ground.

The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing.
"Perhapth I thould rephrathe that; Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit?"

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

OMG! Dying laughing over here! Where did you find that picture?? ahahahahahaha.

Anonymous said...

>>>

I'm not a real doctor (but I play one on TV) but I am willing to bet that the horth in the picture is NOT a filly.....

>>>

MCPO Airdale said...

Too, too funny!!!

Anonymous said...

I might be movin' to Montana soon
Just to raise me up a crop of Dental Floss Raisin' it up
Waxen it down
In a little white box
I can sell uptown
By myself I wouldn't
Have no boss,
But I'd be raisin' my lonely Dental Floss
Raisin' my lonely Dental Floss
Well I just might grow me some bees
But I'd leave the sweet stuff
For somebody else...
but then, on the other hand
I'd Keep the wax N' melt it down
Pluck some Floss N' swish it aroun'
I'd have me a crop
An' it'd be on top

(that's why I'M movin' to Montana)

Movin' to Montana soon
Gonna be a Dental Floss tycoon
(yes I am)
Movin' to Montana soon
Gonna be a mennil-toss flykune
I'm pluckin' the ol' Dennil Floss
That's growin' on the prairie
Pluckin' the floss!
I plucked all day an' all nite an' all Afternoon...
I'm ridin' a small tiny hoss
(His name is MIGHTY LITTLE)
He's a good hoss
Even though He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
Blanket on anyway
He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
Blanket on anyway
Any way I'm pluckin' the ol' Dennil Floss
Even if you think it is a little silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I'm gonna find me a horse
Just about this big
An' ride him all along the border line
With a Pair of heavy-duty
Zircon-encrusted tweezers in my hand
Every other wrangler would say
I was mighty grand
By myself I wouldn't
Have no boss
But I'd be raisin' my lonely Dental Floss
Raisin' my lonely Dental Floss
Raisin' my lonely Dental Floss
Well I might Ride along the border
With my tweezers gleamin'
In the moon-lighty night
And then I'd Get a cuppa cawfee
N' give my foot a push...
Just me 'n the pymgy pony
Over the Dennil Floss Bush
N' then I might just Jumb back on
An' ride Like a cowboy
Into the dawn to Montana
Movin' to Montana soon

(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)

Juice said...

:D:D:D omg!
It took me reading the punch line twice to get the message~
Horry Clap! Cain't stop LOL!!!
Daz a good'n!

Anonymous said...

Polished professional seems to be bringing out the maximum in the mini pony.

Anonymous said...

http://www.seeklyrics.com/lyrics/Frank-Zappa/Montana.html

The song is by Frank Zappa, from the album "Over-Nite Sensation", released in 1973.

CF in CO

Anonymous said...

Funny!!!! I laugh hard.
Ozaob

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