Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Know your Foreigners

P.J. O'Rourke
'nuff said
Rodge, will this offend me?  I'm very easily upset by stereotyped characterizations.

Pasty Fayse

Ms. Fayse

I don't think so, everything appears to be properly researched, and correctly presented.  Here's a sample entry.

Racial Characteristics:
Sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet. They take filthy pictures of each other with cheap cameras, wash nothing but their cunts, fight with their feet, and perform sex acts with their faces. Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.

Good Points:
Invented the blowjob.

Proper Forms of Address:
Froggy, froggy-wog, frog-eater, French-lips, Franco fuck-face, clit-lick.

An Anecdote Illustrating Something of the French Character:
A Frenchman goes home with his best friend and they find the friend's wife laying naked on the dining room table with her legs spread apart. The Frenchman takes a close look at her cunt and says, "Zees looks like zee menstrual blood!" Then he bends down, takes a deep whiff, and says, "Zees smells like zee menstrual blood!" Finally he gets down on his knees, eats her out for about twenty minutes, and says, "Zees tastes like zee menstrual blood! Without a doubt, it eez zee menstrual blood! Mon dieu, I am glad zat we did not fuck her!!"

Next .... AFRICANS
Tim W

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow. That was pretty offensive.

Bill
http://willstuff.wordpress.com

AnnoyedOne said...

Australians

Spunky Texan said...

damn

That's all I can say.

Damn

Anonymous said...

When I sent that link to TRKOF, I was sure that everyone would know it was written in the '70s.
Tim

cmblake6 said...

I find myself greatly amused by certain forms of offensive behavior. This was one!

Rodger the Real King of France said...

what part changed in 30 years Tim?

Kim du Toit said...

Nothing offensive in there... just funny.

Anonymous said...

Just proof that P.J. O'Rourke is timeless.
Tim

titan saturnae said...

They did not "invent" the bj. It long predates the French.

The rest seems fairly accurate

Anonymous said...

What about those Albanians?..... Vlad the Romanian.. (█-/

Anonymous said...

Failed Connection.
xero

pdwalker said...

*gasp!*

offensively funny! and true!

Rodger the Real King of France said...

As an a aficionado of the old National Lampoon magazine, I can attest that this sort of delicious parody, of the then nascent PC movement, was a very effective staple. Today it's a celebration of the fact that we're still the only nation on earth, including Canada, where this sort of thing won't see you hauled before the ministry of justice. And feel free to shoot dead any who try to change that,

Anonymous said...

I still have my copy of the National Lampoon with this in it. From a primitive time before political correctness ruled.

Actually, O'Rourke was making fun mostly of people who kind of thought this way, some of whom are still living, but mostly they have died off in the last 35 years.

However, it is wonderful to watch the PC crowd get their panties in a twist over it, plus see the Free Press crowd holding their noses while defending it, plus the college kids are cracking up watching the adults have puppies over it.

Also, all the actual foreigners read it approvingly until they get to THEIR turn, and either laugh or steam up.

Altogether, a win-win-win-win-win. Like fine wine, this article just keeps on getting better.

--badfrog

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