Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA patdown

Man arrested after ejaculating during -
Yes, during TSA pat-down..

TSA agent gropes man A 47 year old gay man was arrested at San Francisco International Airport after ejaculating while being patted down by a male TSA agent.  Percy Cummings, an interior designer from San Francisco, is being held without bail after the alleged incident, charged with sexually assaulting a Federal agent.

According to Cummings’ partner, Sergio Armani, Cummings has “multiple piercings on his manhood” which were detected during a full body scan.  As a result, Cummings was pulled aside for a pat-down.  Armani stated that the unidentified TSA agent spent “an inordinate amount of time groping” Cummings, who had apparently become sexually aroused.  Cummings, who has a history of sexual dysfunction, ejaculated while the TSA agent’s hand was feeling the piercings.  The TSA agent, according to several witnesses, promptly called for back up.  Cummings was thrown to the ground and handcuffed.

A TSA spokesperson declined to comment on this specifc case, but said that anyone ejaculating during a pat-down would be subject to arrest.

I'll have what he's having
I just read this to MoSup, and her response was, "Why?  Where's the law against ejaculating anyplace you want, as long as you're not exposed?"  To that I add, especially in San Francisco or Berkeley!
Anyway, I would love to be that guy's lawyer.  Not the criminal lawyer who gets him acquitted.  The contingency ambulance chaser who sues TSA for $90 $billion for pain, suffering, and humiliation.  And wins.
Marc Miller

13 comments:

moof said...

They call it "assault with bodily fluids". The same charge as if you spit on someone.

He'll tell the judge it was not intentional and get acquitted. Dropping the charges would be more sensible, but we're talking about the TSA.

Kristophr said...

The TSA had to over-react.

They knew they were going to get a rape complaint and a lawsuit.

Hopefully this will put an end to this crap.

Profiling of islamics as possible terrorists is what is needed, not security kabuki theatre.

Anonymous said...

ummmm...This story from November 21, 2010 by "Dead Serious News". guys name is .... "Cummings"

Dead serious news is like The Onion, Cummings should have been the give away.

Anonymous said...

He's a premature ejaculating homo. He's got enough problems already. One suspects that the "pain, suffering, and humiliation" was the best part for him.

Casca

Cracker Barrel Philosopher said...

I was wondering when the light in the loafers crowd would start organizing bus trips to the airport so they could all go through security again and again until satisfied.

Anonymous said...

Yeah. False. But funny.

Anonymous said...

Yup should've snoped it. Say, didja notice the red telephone next the You Tube icon? Oh boy.

marc m

Anonymous said...

Where is the birf certificate?

Rodger the Real King of France said...

Did you notice parody tag?

Skip said...

Can I get off KP now?
How about short arm inspections at the chick barracks?

Kristophr said...

Scary. Way too believable.

Wabano said...

He jizzed in his pants...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLnWf1sQkjY

She puked in her mouth:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJsQcnB6GC0&feature=related

JMcD said...

I guess it was uncontrolled....
Hey maybe they could sue him for sweating on the agent, while they're at it.

Post a Comment

Just type your name and post as anonymous if you don't have a Blogger profile.