Wednesday, December 03, 2014

Court Boners

—  You Clot                                

Great Trial Boners

During a trial practice Ted's lawyer tested the defense's contention that Ted was on the jogging trail that morning, still under the influence of Cialis which he'd taken the day before, and for which continued condition was going to call his physician when he got back to the office, when, because of weight loss, his jogging shorts fell down to his ankles, tripping and propelling him into Ms. Foster whose own jogging shorts had quite coincidentally also fallen to her ankles where she, being quite without undergarments, was bent over, frantically screeching, while pulling them up.

Later, Ted took a plea deal on sexual assault instead of facing a rape trial.


Anonymous said...

Uhhh.... If the Cialis effect was still in effect at the time of the incident as defense claims, the shorts could not have fallen, but stopped at a point and in an arrangement the boys in the 'hood call 'sagging' and my wife calls 'peter pants', where the buttocks or undies are exposed in the pants' posterior, while the anterior of the pants is stopped in the vicinity of the pubes, make coitus nigh impossible. If there was no penetration, she's lying, if there was, he's lying about how the pants came down and is a sexist pig. Then there is the possibility she welcomed the opportunity to couple, but was not satisfied with the experience and has jogger's remorse or she's just a feminazi bitch.
A classic he said she said if there were no witnesses or forensic evidence.
Lt. Col. Gen. Tailgunner dick

Rodger the Real King of France said...

I neglected to report that his shorts were so old and rotten that they just tore away.

Anonymous said...

Yes, but did he put them on knowing they'd easily tear, did they tear away of their own weight, did his rising rod poke through the rotting fabric on its own, or did she rip them off? The jury wants to know. I'm sure Poirot would know.
Lt. Col. Gen. Tailgunner dick

Unknown said...

Had I been Ted's attorney, I would have had him cop a plea to "following too closely".

DougT said...

Looks, to me, more like a reenactment of He Man vs. Skeletor, the final victory. Or a replay of Dix attempting to overtake Gay at the tape.

Leonard Jones said...

This looks like the guy is taking necrophilia to a
a whole new level! I often listen to a local center-
left radio talk show host by the name of Bill Handel.
On his Saturday Handel On The Law show, he sometimes
does a monologue called Necrophilia, The Victimless Crime.

Unknown said...

Necrophilia, eh? Hmmm…
OK, so these two necrophiliacs are passing by a funeral home, and one says, "Hey, whaddya say we pop in for a couple of cold ones?"

BlogDog said...

You'll go all out for a boner joke, won't you?

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