MORE FARTS JOKES!

R&R NEVER MIND You know what? We just  came through (on the winning side) an epic battle, against some of the filthiest MoFos that my adult world has experienced.  I'm fatigued. Need some happy.  Not quitting, just some R&R.  Stories like the teacher who displayed the Confederate flag to middle schoolers in his history class was forced to retire amid concerns that he was displaying a symbol of hate  abound.  Yet, we have these people on the run. I suspect we'll root them out and (metaphorically) kill most of them in short order.  Want to go back to cooking, looking, and booking stuff. Some things, like homeboy Damian Housman's (skoonj) LET'S STOP FIGHTING WARS LIKE A LIBERAL are compelling enough to break my reverie. NEVER MIND I need a nap.

Soapy Letters

Mark M said "Great Stuff"TEXT Yes, it is.

Winky Dink Lost Forever

Pad Pod

Forsyte cure for missing Downton

For what it's worth, I told MoSup that I'd watched a few episodes of an old (2002) PBS series called the The Forsyte Saga.  Thought since she liked Downton Abbey so much. this would be a nice bridge until the 2014  season started.  That was Friday night.  She watched the last (10) erpisode Sunday night.

Perfect Halloween Treats!

*Due to possible ceramic shortage,  these mugs are limited to 6 per household.

A New novel Novel

Outline for my new thriller Coming Soon

“ ” The working title is  "Happy Faces On A  Wet Derrière."  The story pretty much writes itself,  but I'm stuck,  as usual, on the same old thing.  Can the ingenue  play pinochle, and does she have a hare lip?  Or not.   This drives me crazy.

Baconage

Not Kevin Bacon - Rodger's Bacon

There are birthday presents, and there are birthday presents.  While all are deeply appreciated, there is a certain cachet attached to 15 pounds of Apple wood cured bacon.  Which is what son Hucker gave me yesterday. Call Guinness; I think a bacon Eiffel Tower is in the offing.

Action Jackson

The Littlest Terp

Since Jackson was born I've been, while not walking with the plague, feeling sufficiently bad to keep me away from my new grandson.  Today I gave myself clearance, and went over there.  His sister will prolly be the next Shirley Temple, and he's a pretty sure bet for Terp starting QB in 2029.  I know what you're saying, "Rodge, that's one fine looking boy, but mine is a tad better," but you'd be wrong.  I mean, come on, the kid's only 2 weeks old and already can pass a football 3-4 feet.  Okay, straight down, but still.

Someone got a new toy brother

Jackson E!

Jackson Prince Annonçant je Real Prince Héritier - Chambre des Hucker

It's a Boy

Jackson E.  (named for this guy) - Grandchild # 4, Grandson #2.

Gnome stuff

I'm a Swedish meatball short and stout ...

“   With a simple saliva sample we'll help you gain insight into your traits, from baldness to muscle performance. Discover risk factors for 95 diseases. Know your predicted response to drugs, from blood thinners to coffee. And uncover your ancestral origins. ”

The Swedish King off to rape and pillage England My son Greeper did this Me&23 DNA mapping thing, and the results were fascinating for him, and a mystery of sorts for me.  According to his map, I am 100% Eastern European to include Finland etc., but almost totally of Swedish ancestry. Which means that somewhere along the line my maternal Granny's family (she emigrated from England) were influenced, ahem,  by Norsemen raiders, most likely.  There's all sort of genetic info to be gleaned from the results, like what diseases you are a carrier of, IQ stock, etc.  In some cases identical twins separated at birth, and who underwnet the testing, were discovered. Same with cousins, etc.  Not real sure about what all's involved, but it sure is interesting.

Mo fish

i can't stop

Two Ma Deuces from the balcony, that's what

Spoiler, or Appetizer?

As a special treat, here's the last page of my What Happened in the Cloakroom  manuscript.   Now, it's off to the publisher.  I'm told you can preorder on Amazon next week .

Slide Show

Techno Thrills

In 2005 I told y'all about using fluorescent light scanning to digitize my old 35mm  slides.  Hundreds of them.  What happened was this.  After spending untold hours on the project, the file just up and disappeared from my hard drive Poof.  I said the hell with it.  Last year Woot had a deal on an ION slide copier, so I picked it up.  But guess what?  I couldn't find my slides. Just disappeared. Poof. Today I went downstairs to get a tub of spackle for the laundry room, and instead found my slide collection; Mo-Sup had "organized" them for me.  Ahem.  Anyway, I just now did my first one.  Now, this sumbitch is prolly 60 years old.  I think I'm shimmying up a coconut tree to sniper Japs on Guadalcanal.  Or, it's my honeymoon in Puerto Rico.  Can't tell one from the other anymore. Lord knows what I'll find next.  I took pictures of everything.  Everything.

Restorations

The Taft Inauguration Time Killer

Taft's Inauguration - March 4, 1909 “ Taft's Inauguration was held indoors, in the Senate chamber, due to the snowfall. Strong winds toppled trees and telephone poles, trains were stalled and city streets unpassable. City workers shoveled sand and snow through  half the night. It took 6,000 men and 500 wagons to clear 58,000 tons of snow and slush from the parade route. - Picture depicts Taft waving to the assembled crowd afterwards. ” I don't know why I decided to do this.  Taft means nothing to me, and the whole thing grew very tedious.  But, there you have it (rollover).

Book Excerpt

Excerpt from my novel, "Crescent at Five-o-clock High."

I almost missed a deadline to submit the the next five chapters of my novel to the publisher.  Been pounding away furiously, and Fedex just picked them up.  Whew.  I thought some of you might enjoy reading a snippet (Remember, my editor will fix spelling and punctuation). “ Excerpt from my novel, "Crescent at Five-o-clock High. Chapter XXVII - Arghhhh <snip> Just an hour earlier Special Agent Jerry Moore's head had been comfortably nestled in Suzanne's soft bosom.  Soft like the chunk of plaster now under his foot wasn't.  Their reverie had been shattered by a harsh crack from the television speaker that cut the president's voice in mid sentence.  Then a shrieking, like when the power goes out in a sports bar with 30 seconds left on the clock. "What do we know," Jerry asked the uniformed Secret Service guard, as he surveyed the destruction before them.? "A meteor about the size of a bowling ball hit the capitol building at a speed in excess of 200,000 mph.  It cut through the stone like a hot knife through butter, and smashed into the House chamber, just moments after the State of the Union address began." Jerry twirled a finger through his neatly trimmed beard, like a doctor doing a pelvic exam. "How in hell could that happen without a warning,"  he asked absently, not really expecting a reply? But the guard answered. "Funny that.  It seems a radar station in the Blue Ridge mountains picked it up.  The crew telephoned it in to the White House switch board, but it wasn't  relayed for several hours.  Then a staffer dismissed it as being a flight of stealth bombers expected at Andrews AFB.  One of those SNAFUs you only read about," he finished. The chamber was a mess.  The meteor had ended its deadly journey from the vastness of space on the House floor.  Assembled congressmen listening to the speech, many preening for the C-Span camera that lazily scanned the assemblage, took the brunt of the blow.  Like a boxer who is distracted by his girl friend waving to him, and takes an upper-cut to the jaw.  He looked up to the gallery.  A piece of green and orange chiffon hung lazily from the railing, like pasta thrown against the cabinet door to see if it would stick, signifying ready to eat.  Just an hour ago he had seen the First Lady, wearing a dress made of that material, take her seat to much applause from the Democrats below. "She must be smithereens now," he thought. "What's going on over there", he asked?  A pointed finger directed the guard's gaze to several dozen people engaged in some ceremony at the rear of the hall. "That 's what's left of the Republican caucus.  They just voted to reorganize the House, and elected John Boone Speaker."  "What the - " Speaker Pirogi was killed in the blast, as was the Vice President, and every single Democrat except Sen. Frink  who was in the bathroom.  Boone will be the new president once they take President Ochumsky off  life support." <snip> ”