Friday, October 29, 2010

Blog Speed Trap

Toll Booth Blogging
Boned Jello
Awright youse freeloading sumbitches!  We allow only one free read per visitor. We are currently gathering IPs and computer info on persistent intruders who refuse to buy subscription and are engaging in a theft of services. We have engaged an attorney who will be doing a bulk subpoena demand on each ISP involved, particularly Verizon Droids, Frontier and Road Runner, and will then pursue individual legal actions. And youse what are here just to individually freelaod - you got 11 seconds ... which you have now used up.  What? Yur still here?  My attorney J. Reno Esq. will be contacting you.

I'm dyin here boss!

The couple chose an idyllic resort in the Maldives ... .

Muslum Tomcats

... if America fighter pilots ever run into
Maverick and Goose on an airborne
intercept, shoot the bastids down.

And not just because Maverick is Tom Cruise ... .

Punked out

And, kidz:  when Dad offers to “hold” your candy
bag for you “because it’s so heavy,” think hard about where
you really want all your Big Chunks to end up. . .

Insert into San Francisco or Boston

Quick Ma. I think we're getting better!
Sen. John Kerry unleashed a broadside Thursday against Republican "obstructionism," saying the GOP and its talk-show allies have created a "period of know-nothingism" in the country.
Kerry voices frustration with US political scene

A Mighty Thirst

Bachman Revolts

Michele Bachmann
"If John Boehner's the only candidate running
[for speaker], I'll be voting for John Boehner."

Boned Jello
If it's true that women voters have nearly destroyed this nation, and it is; it's also true that conservative women are aggressively so.  They make good leaders.

Worthless shit Dustin Dominiak

"I had a one-night stand
with Dustin Dominiak"
by Pete Ureeter

Boned Jello

Asshole who tried to shame Christine O'Donnell finally outed -- The Internets blew up yesterday after herpetic gossip blog Gawker published an anonymous account by a man who claims to have had a "one night stand" three years ago with Delaware Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell. The reaction was quick and brutal. Left and right alike took knives to Gawker for publishing such a terrible and offensive piece of dreck, meant to make women everywhere feel terrible about themselves for having a nice time on Halloween. But the real culprit, AKA "anonymous" AKA "Douchey McAsshole" was still roaming free. That is, until The Smoking Gun figured out the bastard's identity: 28-year-old Dustin Dominiak. May his name live forever in our collective memory, and may he never get the opportunity to take a sweet ladybug out for beers ever again.
Daily Caller


An Obama Fart

Spit on Spitzer

Dear Eliot:
This Weekly Standard spoof of Eliot Spitzer's application rejection is hilarious.
Boned Jello

Hon. Eliot Spitzer (J.D.,'84)
641 West 51st Street
New York, NY 10019

Boned Jello

      The admissions committee has met and I am sorry to inform you that we

were not able to admit you to the Harvard Club of New York City this year.  We
received a record applicant pool of 112 applications and we were unfortunately

able to admit an entering class of only 111 members.
      We realize you may be disappointed with this decision. Our choices reflect
the strength and size of our applicant pool, and they are not judgments on
any applicant's potential as a rehabilitated, nondysfunctional member of society.
       You will also be pleased to learn that we offer a vast array of amenities to
rejected applicants, including the use of the front awning during rainstorms
(for no more than five minutes), the use of the urinals in the lobby bathroom
provided you are appropriately dressed, and the opportunity to ask the
doorman for directions.
      The admissions committee made each decision in the context of the other
applications and therefore we cannot provide specific reasons why certain
alumni were not offered admission, although in your case a few queries stood
out: While your suggestion of providing members with innovative massage
treatments was considered generally helpful, the committee found the idea
of "lower abdominal therapy" to be rather lurid. Expanding our reciprocal
privileges to include Scores and Larry Flynt's Hustler Club was likewise treated
with scorn.
      Regarding the letter of recommendation from your colleague Ms. Kathleen
Parker, the committee was duly impressed by her kind words and generous
praise, but received the impression she was not quite familiar with you -- the
bulk of her letter focused on your new cable show as well as a show she plans
on hosting alone when the current one is cancelled.
      We know this explanation may not be consoling, but it is as much as can
be practically given.  The committee appreciated the time, care, and effort you
put into your application. (We particularly valued your advice that we provide
members with a plentiful supply of mid-calf length black socks.)
      We wish you well as you persue your redemption.


Boned Jello

Nicole M. Parent

Woof Woof

Open letter to Americans: U.S. Mid-term Elections
“If You Don’t Know What’s Going On, Don’t Vote”
Like talking to a dog
The sad truth of the matter


FTC Drops Investigation of Google Less Than a
Week After Company Exec Hosts Obama Fundraiser

  • Google’s Marissa Mayer is hosting President Obama for a Democratic party fundraiser tonight. Tickets are $30,000-a-head….” – San Francisco Chronicle, October 21, 2010
  • After analyzing the unencrypted WiFi payload data captured by its Street View cars, Google now admits that the system captured entire e-mails, URLs and even user passwords.” - ZDNet, October 23, 2010
  • The Federal Trade Commission [has] closed its investigation into Google’s collection of consumer data through its Street View cars….”  San Francisco Chronicle, October 27, 2010


A solved wtf

Mystery Solved
I could not in good conscience rest until I got this picture to you.  I don't know what is going on here but what a classic! 

Boned Jello
There are only  five possibilities
  1. In an act of Schnapps fueled rebellion, or perhaps as an act of mercy, Francine fellates her father-in-law.
  2. Obama declared the winner
  3. Margaret Cho's comedy stylings
You're welcome

ecce homo

ecce homo