Monday, April 11, 2011

A Cure

 After both suffering from
severe depression,

my wife and I decided to
commit suicide yesterday...

Strangely enough after she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better and thought, fuck it!

I'll try to make a go of it

Verging
cuzzin ricky

Satan is a liar

Talking Doll

The latest toy has hit the shops--a  talking Muslim doll.

Muslima Muji

Nobody knows what the hell it says,
because no one wants to pull the cord


"Grin"

The African Queen Strikes Back

The African Queen Strikes Back
   "Speaker John Boehner is pleased as punch with himself and his caucus for "dragg[ing] a reluctant Senate and White House into taking this imperfect first step toward getting spending under control," but he's not ready to call it a day just yet. In an op-ed in USA Today, Boehner reminds America that "before serving in Congress, I ran a small business. Created jobs. Met a payroll."

This is why Boehner heartily endorses Rep. Ryan's "Path to Prosperity," which "leads where the administration has failed and takes on autopilot spending that's driving our debt crisis while preserving critical health and retirement security programs for the future."

Boehner goes on to write that "to be credible, the White House plan must preserve and protect programs such as Medicare and Medicaid." Incidentally, Ryan's loudest critics contend that the Path fails to do exactly this.  [Via DC]


But then ...

Obama Puts Taxes on Table

Meanwhile, independent analysts have determined that Ryan's plan would eliminate nearly $3 trillion in tax deductions--"such as the mortgage interest deduction, the deduction for charitable contributions and the exclusion for employer-provided health insurance"--even as it lowers the top personal and corporate tax rates to 25 percent.

That, in my case, would result in a net $2000 tax increase.  While I will not be happy over it, if the cuts include every cent given to every interest group - and I mean PBS, NPR, Abortion Inc; - you name it - then I'll maintain a semi-hardon.

Ed Schultz dons his plantation face

The Black Agenda
by a north dakota white guy
  The sight this week of MSNBC’s nearly all-white anchor line-up hyping the network’s Sunday special, “The Black Agenda” hosted by Ed Schultz was almost beyond parody, but not quite.

The show was branded as “hosted by Ed Schultz” most of the week, but someone decided to add Tamron Hall, the network’s one African-American anchor, to the branding at some point. After some criticism, the network also highlighted Al Sharpton’s involvement.

The special airs at noon today. We took a stab at marketing it ourselves. “The Black Agenda with Ed Schultz: Because who knows more about black people than a guy from… North Dakota?”
Ed 'Mo-Fo' Schultz

Erin's Nipples

Seven years before the last day, the sea shall submerge Eirin [Ireland] in one inundation
St. Columbeille (6th Century)

Sister Mary Twice-Twisted taught me that in the third grade.  She thought it was a reward for Ireland staying faithful to Rome after the (future) rest of Great Britain went protestant.  You know, better to drown in your sleep than face the four horsemen. Whatever the reason, I always took comfort in the knowledge that I'd be forewarned, and could find a good hiding place.  Now I'm wondering whether St. Columbeille may have screwed up his Islands?

How could this happen?  Well, like this. In Columbeille's vision he saw Nippon, which made him think of his girlfriends nipples.  His girlfriend's name?  Erin. (Well, he was dreaming.) That means we may be getting pretty damned close to the 7-year warning. 
Columbeille's Prediction
New 7.1 quake hits Japan

Award Winner Toons


Spot on Award Winners

Baconage

Not Kevin Bacon - Rodger's Bacon

15 pounds of Applewood Bacon

There are birthday presents, and there are birthday presents.  While all are deeply appreciated, there is a certain cachet attached to 15 pounds of Apple wood cured bacon.  Which is what son Hucker gave me yesterday. Call Guinness; I think a bacon Eiffel Tower is in the offing.