Miss Poopy Pants

Keepin' the flies off the watermelon

Tim W

Brits realize they F***'d up

The British called - They want their guns back!

Need I say more?

Merrily

What Fart?

One More Example of American Ingenuity

When Democrats don't interfere

CR

Meet the Stupids

US Dearth Warrant

“ Government spending, deficits, and debt creation of this magnitude is simply unheard of. So the added TARP money will surely imperil the entire stimulus package as taxpayers around the country begin to digest the enormity of these proposed government actions. Financing of this type would not only destroy the U.S. fiscal position for years to come, it could destroy the dollar in the process. What's more, the likelihood of massive tax increases -- which at some point will become front and center in this gargantuan funding operation -- would doom the economy for decades. - Larry Kudlow ” Thank the 177 Republicans (100%),  and 11 democrats who voted against this monstrosity.  Whether you believe this entire affair was orchestrated by the likes of Soros and friends (I do), or that democrats are just piss poor money managers (I do), this has to be stopped.  But Rodge, what should we do?  I'll tell you what to do.  Go back to what made us a great nation.  Encourage the creation of new manufacturing and business ventures. Eliminate all Cap Gains taxes now. Eliminate all environmental business mandates. Drill for oil like a madman. Eliminate all possible restrictions aimed at capital creation (new businesses). Curtail tort lawyers stranglehold on business. Cut government services to the bone. Eliminate the IRS in favor of the 17% flat tax. In less than two years we'll be the only nation in the world growing like gangbusters. Because this is who we are, when gummint doesn't get in the way.

Fault Jumping

I think this'll work

Fault Jumping

Pelosi's breeding ground

The California problem run amok

San Francisco Bay Area.  Breeding grounds of Democrats who currently have the United States in a death grip.   Pelosi, Waxman, Boxer, et al, *Sputtering too much.*  Here. “  (01-26) 20:04 PST  -- Berkeley's public library will face a showdown with the city's Peace and Justice Commission tonight over whether a service contract for the book check-out system violates the city's nuclear-free ordinance. The dispute centers on a five-year, $63,000 contract the library wants to sign with 3M, an international technology company based in Minnesota, to service five scanner machines library patrons use to check out books. But 3M, a company with operations in 60 countries, refused to sign Berkeley's nuclear-free disclosure form as required by the Nuclear Free Berkeley Act passed by voters in 1986. As a result, the library's self-checkout machines have not been serviced in about six months. Library officials say 3M is the only company authorized by the manufacturer to fix the machines, which were purchased in 2004. The library asked the Peace and Justice Commission for a waiver, but at its Jan. 5 meeting the commission voted 7-1, with two abstentions, to reject the request. The library is now appealing the decision to the City Council. ” This all too absurd, but lest you feel sorry for the poor liberry managers, they are, don't forget, cut from the same herd. “ "We would not ever have selected 3M on our own, but we were thrust into this," said Donna Corbeil, director of library services. "We're not happy about it, but right now there's no alternative." ” "We were thrust into this ...?" Thrust into what, and by whom?  But wait.  A happy ending?

Somalia

Here's an idea

Somilian Pirate I can't remember the name of this movie, I want to say it was a Michael Crichton book.  It opens in some African village, with  missionaries tending the sick.  A startling discovery is made.  It seems something like West Nile Viris, or Black Plague is  killing the people like flies. There's a monkey involved .  Next scene.  CDC helicopters, maybe WHO too, descend on the village to take care of the afflicted.  Not  They seal the village off, after rounding up any who've wandered away, and napalm the village and its inhabitants to hell.  The ultimate quarantine. We learn that this desperate act was necessary, in order to save the millions, if not billions, who would die had this virus  spread.  That got me to thinking.  How come nobody has done this to Somalia.  A worthless, disease ridden, al-Qaedan infested den of criminals and pirates  that has no purpose remotely worthy. A threat to the world, on a level with Seattle. I mean, WTF? Am I wrong?

Street Justice

To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown

A message from Alex

Posted to Craig's List Personals:  Merrily checked Snopes, so this may be for real. Let's hope. “        To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)         2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST         I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.         I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol af ter you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?         I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.        I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.         So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!         - Alex ”

Terps about to be devoured

Ruh Roh

Violations

Damn you Pop Culture ... for making me see smut here.

Obama Immunity

Obama, you sneaky bastard!

cmblake6  made a good observation below.  Obama may never be charged with treason, because he isn't a United States citizen.  WASS!

American Republic II

A Gummint We Can Trust RIGHT

These Drudge Headlines Speak Volumes

AHMADINEJAD SAYS USA MUST APOLOGIZE TO IRAN OVER PAST ACTIONS... * DEAR AHMADINEJAD: OBAMA DRAFTS LETTER TO IRAN Wen and Putin Slam U.S. System... SOROS GLOBAL RESCUE PLAN'... 'American consumer can no longer act as motor of global economy'... 'Obama must implement radical and comprehensive set of policies'... A Muslim megalomaniac demands an apology from the United States, and the new American president responds.  Oh, Shores of Tripoli.   Two of the world's most prominent communists slam the United States,  and another, George Soros,  says yes, but I have a plan to bring them to heel.  Nobody knows where Soros is hiding.  I'd say we're about 9 months away from a national understanding of what was done to us.  Unfortunately, by then there will be a new paradigm holding sway.  A population struggling to find its next meal is no real threat to attack the king.  My problem is that I only have two nukes and a rusty B-52 without a CD player.  I'm thinking San Francisco and  DC.   Oye.  Sometimes I wish I wasn't the King of France and Barn Army commander. So many choices.

Hostility

Milestones

Talk o' the Town

Margo Kaplan Hill, widow of the late industrialist Israel Kaplan, chose dinner at  Alain Ducasse at the Essex House Restaurant to introduce her children Herschel and Rhona to new husband Tim Hill, a plumber from Chicago. Mr. Hill has nine children by his first wife, deceased, and was a delegate to the Republican Convention in 2008.  Mrs. Kaplan will form a PAC to promote Sarah Palin for president in 2012.  Or, her son found out his mother had given his train set to Goodwill. Something like that.

I hate the color green

Aye Carumba

Gorons Run Amok

Woman bites driver over non-hybrid bus “ Going green was a cause she could really sink her teeth into. The frantic passenger who bit a veteran driver's arm was upset that his bus wasn't a hybrid, he said Thursday. "She came on the bus, and she said she waited more than an hour for a hybrid," said MTA driver Peter Williams, 42. "I said, 'I'm not in control of what bus is assigned to me.'" The woman, Shelia Bolar, 49, started hollering at Williams soon after she boarded the Broadway bus on the upper West Side. When her rant was done, she she grabbed his arm. "Miss, don't touch me while I'm operating the bus," Williams warned Bolar. At W. 79th St., Williams let passengers off and gestured to a dispatcher he called for help. "That's when she bit me. ... I couldn't believe it." Bolar chomped through a jacket, a sweater and a thick shirt, causing a bruise and swelling but not breaking skin. "She bit through all that," said Williams, still shocked. And then she fled - but cops nabbed her blocks away. Bolar, who faces assault charges was held without bail, pending a psychiatric exam. ” Euthanasia. Stat. Mary

Placenta Jones

Placenta Jones Enters the Wrong Olympics

They gave her a medal anyway

Fine Craftsmanship

Lead Crystal

Sheep's Clothing

As The Wool Turns

"Obama cited his Muslim background and relatives, ... a taboo issue during the .. campaign"

Every day brings new, I won't say revelation, because there is nothing the attentive didn't know or suspect about this Obama cipher imposed on us. Validation.  Every day brings validation. Like this astoundingly in-your-face decision to use al-Qaeda news agencies to deliver his first presidential statement. As expected, it was the usual Liberal supplication --   "we're so sorry for causing all this turmoil in your lives  Can I kiss your rosy leathery rectum?" “ Obama said the U.S. had made mistakes in the past but "that the same respect and partnership that America had with the Muslim world as recently as 20 or 30 years ago, there's no reason why we can't restore that." ” What were those mistakes Barry?  I want a single specific. “ Americans are not your enemy. ” Only if you call Liberals swathed in pink American.  To the rest of us, Islam represents a threat to world stability, and a force of pure evil. Islam declared war on the United States.  They can't win, but we can lose. Mr. president. Your election is a prime example.

GOP SUCK-UPS

Form Following Function

“ “I'm sure he is doing his best but it does not appear to be good enough. He may not have noticed that the number of Republican colleagues he has in the House has dwindled. And they will dwindle more if he and his friends don't show more leadership and effectiveness in battling the most left-wing agenda in modern history. And they won't continue to lose because of me, but because of their relationship with the grassroots, which is hurting. Conservatives want leadership from those who claim to represent them. And we'll know it when we see it.” - Rush Limbaugh, responding to a plea from Rep. Phil Gingrey, R-Ga, that he not be so critical of Democrats, and Republican leadership. ”

Uh ... you win Chico

Aryan Brotherhood Served by Mexican Prison Gang

Chico at Chino

Tea Party

TEA PARTY February 1st

I'm in.

The Apple Tree

Today's WTF?

I think the punchline was - “ No, thank you for bringing her home. I usually have to cut her down from the apple tree. ”

Law Abiding. Sigh

How Pedro Got Elected

Pedro develops a cultist base

Ruh-Roh

Remember how your mom used to say, "If you don't stop crying a snake will come and suck your brains out through your nose," and you thought she was just trying to scare you?

Kennedy

Revelations

I just realized something.  The surname Kennedy is in wide use, unlike Pelosi, Waxman, etc.  That's why this is extraordinary.  There are no people on earth with that surname, as near as I can tell, who are not worthless MFCS.  It's like they have a proprietary evil DNA  strand. Wow.

Pana Grotto

RE: You Know Who

What you read on these pages reflects my mood, and what I'm thinking at the moment.  I'm Catholic, not nearly as devoted as MoSup, but a Christian and Catholic nonetheless.  Anyway, I have linked above to PANA GROTTO, which goes to messages from Mary, the blessed mother of Jesus.  The source of these messages is something you can find for yourself, if you're so inclined.  MoSup  reads these, and is guided by them.  She just asked me to read the past three messages.  I did.  I am in no way proselytizing.  It is what it is to you. Take it or leave it, but don't be an asshole about it. “ YOUR NATION IS IN A DARKENED TIME. MARKED BY EVIL AND EVIL PEOPLE, YOUR NATION IS GODLESS AND MAN'S HEARTS HAVE HARDENED AGAINST HIM. THEY HAVE CHOSEN A NEW FORM OF WORSHIP FOR THIS COUNTRY. THEY HAVE PLACED A MAN ABOVE THE ALMIGHTY GOD AND WORSHIP HIM AND PRAISE HIM. BE AWARE MY CHILDREN, GOD WILL NOT LET THIS PASS. YOU WILL SEE THE MIGHT OF GOD COME DOWN AND THERE WILL BE MUCH WAILING AND GNASHING OF TEETH. THOSE WHO WORSHIP MAN WILL CRY OUT TO HIM TO SAVE THEM, BUT HE WILL GIVE THEM EMPTY PROMISES AND TURN AWAY FROM THEIR SUFFERINGS. Jan 19 DO NOT BE FOOLED MY LOVES, EVIL HAS NOT WON, NOR WILL WIN. IT SEEMS THAT ALL THE EFFORTS TO PROTECT LIFE ARE USELESS. ON THE CONTRARY, WHAT YOU SEE IS NOT THE ENTIRE PICTURE. BUT MAN HAS BEEN GIVEN MANY OPPORTUNITIES TO COME TO REPENTANCE OF THIS AND SO MANY OTHER HORRIBLE SINS, NOW YOU WILL SEE THE RESULTS OF THEIR REFUSAL TO DO SO. BE COMFORTED MY CHILDREN BY THE KNOWLEDGE YOU HOLD IN YOUR HEARTS. BE GRATEFUL THAT YOU KNOW THE TRUTH AND TREASURE IT. BE STRONG IN UNITY, UNDERSTANDING THAT THERE WILL BE A NEW HEAVENS AND A NEW EARTH. BE GRATEFUL - ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL. Jan 21 OH DEAR CHILDREN, YOU HAVE SEEN THESE PAST DAYS THE EVIL THAT HAS BEEN SET IN PLACE. ALL SEEMS LOST, YET YOU UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS NOT. BUT GOD LOOKS INTO THE HEARTS OF MAN WANTING THEM TO SEEK REPENTANCE. FOR MOST, THERE IS NOTHING BUT THE CONCERN FOR MATERIAL THINGS OF THE WORLD, THE EVIL THAT DESTROYS LIFE IS APPLAUDED OR IGNORED. WILL JESUS FIND ANY SOUL THAT IS STEEPED IN FAITH AND THE TRUTH. MY LOVES YOU ARE THOSE WHO ARE ALREADY COUNTED, FEW, VERY FEW EXPRESS SORROW FOR THE EVIL DOINGS OF EVIL MEN. YOU CAN ONLY PRAY AND TRUST. Jan 25 say AMEN.

What car are you?

I'm a Ferrari 360 Modena!

You've got it all. Power, passion, precision, and style. You're sensuous, exotic, and temperamental. Sure, you're expensive and high-maintenance, but you're worth it.

"Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

The perfetct storm

Obama's Victory--A British view

The Perfect Summation

“ LONDON DAILY MAIL editorial: On Obama's victory A victory for the hysterical Oprah Winfrey, the mad racist preacher Jeremiah Wright, the US mainstream media who abandoned any sense of objectivity long ago, Europeans who despise America largely because they depend on her, comics who claim to be dangerous and fearless but would not dare attack genuinely powerful special interest groups. A victory for Obama-worshippers everywhere. A victory for the cult of the cult. A man who has done little with his life but has written about his achievements as if he had found the cure for cancer in between winning a marathon and building a nuclear reactor with his teeth. Victory for style over substance, hyperbole over history, rabble-raising over reality. A victory for Hollywood , the most dysfunctional community in the world. Victory for Streisand, Spielberg, Soros, Moore, and Sarandon. Victory for those who prefer welfare to will and interference to independence. For those who settle for group think and herd mentality rather than those who fight for individual initiative and the right to be out of step with meager political fashion. Victory for a man who is no friend of freedom. He and his people have already stated that media has to be controlled so as to be balanced, without realizing the extraordinary irony within that statement. Like most liberal zealots, the Obama worshippers constantly speak of Fox and Limbaugh, when the vast bulk of television stations and newspapers are drastically liberal and anti-conservative. Senior Democrat Chuck Schumer said that just as pornography should be censored, so should talk radio. In other words, one of the few free and open means of popular expression may well be cornered and b eaten by bullies who even in triumph cannot tolerate any criticism and opposition. A victory for those who believe the state is better qualified to raise children than the family, for those who prefer teachers' unions to teaching and for those who are naively convinced that if the West is sufficiently weak towards its enemies, war and terror will dissolve as quickly as the tears on the face of a leftist celebrity. A victory for social democracy even after most of Europe has come to the painful conclusion that social democracy leads to mediocrity, failure, unemployment, inflation, higher taxes and economic stagnation. A victory for intrusive lawyers, banal sentimentalists, social extremists and urban snobs. Congratulations America ! ” Rahouey

Ask Ted

Hey! Let's Ask Ted

Obama is a beast

Stop This Beast!!

Paul W

Tea Blowing

Trick to impress your boyfriend's father

*Tea Blowing - Can You?

* Do not confuse with tea bagging.

OJT

Guess How We Feel?

Mad Magazine Mash

Blago considers Oprah for Senate

Democrats always have options

No shame=No limits

A Ray of Sunshine

Today's Way Too Late Movie Review

Little Miss Sunshine

It's very possible that guys, especially, would pass on watching anything named Little Miss Sunshine.  Like me.  This is, so far, the best, funnest movie I've seen in months. I actually giggled at the end.  Giggled!  Gave me hope.  Content means it's not for kids. Too bad.

The Screw Up

Juice reminds us that in the olden days your father never said  f**k

A Juicy Memory

Out of her simple mind

PELOSI WANTS MORE PUMPING...

Today's Drudge Headline Fun

This one is even better ... “ PELOSI SAYS BIRTH CONTROL WILL HELP ECONOMY ” WTFF?  Have Hill democrats been reading "Chairman Mao's Favorite Seven Year Plan Quotations?"

Water Torture

Bullet Proof Glass

In zee oold deys, vhen theengs vere-a seemple

“ Gretchee - yuoo vun't beleeefe-a it! Nels, vhet? I'm infenteeng boollet pruuff gless Boollet pruuff gless, Nels? Ya! (iss huldink  gless plete-a) Ere-a yuoo soore-a it vurks Nels?  Pretty soore-a. Let's try it oooot.  ”

2 days, 9 hours

2 days, 9 hours of wasted time that will haunt me ...

But wait!

No they won't.  This is my legacy!  I'm the best Klondike Hearts player in the world.  Nobody can ever beat my percentage.  Take that Robert Jarvik.  Eat me Stephen Hawking!  I WIN!

Kenyan wetbacks

Kin

The theme of this PS is fairly uncreative.  But.  It's making the rounds on the Euro boards, which is unusual.

Today's idyll

Philips Home Theater

A Sound Buy

Lord knows I've bought a whole bunch of crap from Woot.  In fact. most all of it was crap I didn't need, couldn't use, or didn't work like I hoped.  I'm not blaming Woot - caveat emptor, and all that.  Maybe I'm bi-polar. The Philips Home Theater deal  is something I did good.  The low price (Amazon is offering it for $453.76) reflects, IMO, the fact that the DVD player is not Blue-Ray.  That doesn't bother me in the slightest.  I'm not saying the sound equals Bose, but I don't really know.  I do know that I'm  able to watch many movies without TV EARS ( a good thing since I broke my head phones) or captions, because the fidelity is so clean and sharp.  Plenty of inputs/outputs for other devices, FM/AM radio, and an iPod Dock included.  Very, very smartly engineered. This has the SHLONG seal of approval.  Unless it breaks before I croak. “ Philips DVD Home Theater System You ordered 1 Philips HTS6600 DVD Home Theater System. which each cost    $199.99 for a subtotal of    $199.99 plus shipping    + $5.00 for a total of    $204.99 ” PS -I hope you appreciate the chance I'm taking, telling you this.  I told MoSup it cost $19.95.  Shhhh.

RFD-TV

You Can't Go Back To The Farm

It's important that I don't begin the morning by listening to the news.  Doctor's orders, actually.  Makes me spend too much time thinking about tricking Nancy Pelosi into a razor fight. That's why I was so happy to learn last week that Verizon had, very quietly, added RFD-TV, aka The Farm Channel to their line-up.  This is the fare (taped video) I was hoping to enjoy again each morning.  Nice, soothing, cattle auctions, and farm reports.  But, ooh-nooooo.