Flying Squirrels

A Cathartic Event

Judge Cameo: And you, Mr. District Attorney, I'd like to point something out to you in the penal code:  Section C, Paragraph 22: "Celebrities are above the law."  This case is dismissed. Quick:  What movie? Rene Russo    Jason Alexander    Randy Quaid        Robert De Niro    Janeane Garofalo    Carl Reiner    Jonathan Winters        John Goodman David Alan Grier    ..    Jeffrey Ross    Billy Crystal    Whoopi Goldberg   ↓ I remember seeing something about this movie, and I remember having zero inclination to watch it even if it was free, which it wasn't, aaaaaaaaaaand even though they were one of my favorites; ..not interested. In 2000 I was consumed by AlGore's attempt to take the White House and the subsequent Florida coup attempt. I just watched it.  This is perhaps the greatest animation feat ever, and it's funny as hell, and your kids can watch it.  Really.

WTFF?

Hillary Clinton for the Democratic Nomination Voters have the chance to choose one of the most broadly and deeply qualified presidential candidates in modern history. uh ... FBI director would like to indict Clinton and Abedin Rep. Darrell Issa: FBI Director Wants 'to Indict Both Huma ... Fox News Legal Analyst Predicts FBI Will Recommend ... Bill Whittle looks at the lawlessness, the arrogance, and the unmasked contempt that Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have for the American people. That NYT endorsement is a mortal sin. Gob Smacked again.

The uniqueness of me

"Feldspar is to a torqe wrench as Larkspur is to cottage cheese" Me Just once, I wanted to offer something that nobody else in recorded history had ever said.  I think I nailed it.

Hillary;Destroying Files

Klintonerdämmerung cuzzin ricky

The girl who stirs the drink?

Still Thinking of Y'all

Good Fellas

Throwback Amurican Boyz The good thing is we didn't lose power.  Another good thing is that late Saturday afternoon these three guys (aged 5-7 and 9) from down the street came over, un-asked, and cut us a path to the street.  Snowed all night, but their pathway was a piece of cake to finish next day.

The full Skinny

SKANKLESS SKINS '61 Thanks to Tom "Manfred" Mann I defy you to find a cheerleader squad, at any level, that have fewer (fewer than zero) skanks than did this 1961 Redskin squad.  In fact, see if you can find one that have fewer than 50% skanks. What in hell happened?  And this has nothing to do with race.

Gird your loins ...

cinema à la carte

Drunk Stoned Brilliant Dead: The Story of the National Lampoon From the 1970s thru the 1990s, there was no hipper, no more outrageous comedy in print than The National Lampoon, the groundbreaking humor magazine that pushed the limits of taste and acceptability – and then pushed them even harder. Parodying everything from politics, religion, entertainment and the whole of American lifestyle, the Lampoon eventually went on to branch into successful radio shows, record albums, live stage revues and movies, including Animal House and National Lampoon’s Vacation. The publication launched the careers of legends like John Belushi, Bill Murray, Chevy Chase, Christopher Guest and Gilda Radner, who went on to gigs at Saturday Night Live and stardom. I thought I'd read every National Lampoon.  Not even close. And, by the way, I never became a Democrat voting druggie; was more of a P.J. O'Rourke guy.  (I watched on Showtime) National Lampoons Senior Trip   (Later updated as Animal House) National Lampoon Lemmings 1973 - Full Video National Lampoon Radio Hour and  there's this...  Launched in 1970, the National Lampoon broke new ground and the aftershocks continue to be felt to this day. A tribute to the most influential American humor publication of all time, Drunk Stoned Brilliant Dead: The Writers and Artists Who Made the National Lampoon Insanely Great by Rick Meyerowitz is a greatest hits collection of the smart, over-the-top humor that made it such a pioneering publication. A prolific contributor to the magazine for 15 years and creator of the iconic Animal House poster, Meyerowitz takes us on a mind-boggling insider's tour through the golden years of the magazine. The Nat Lampoon website is still active, and off airs stuff like this

What they said ..

The obscenity of being .... them ... reported this week that the IRS has notified the Justice Department that it erased a hard drive after being ordered not to do so by a federal judge. In Oscar Wilde's comedy, "The Importance of Being Earnest," Lady Bracknell is indignant to hear that Jack Worthing is an orphan. "To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness." If only one could enjoy a similar belly laugh over President Obama's IRS repeatedly losing hard drives loaded with data related to scandals at the agency. To lose one might be regarded as suspicious happenstance; to lose two looks like conspiracy. WASHINGTON EXAMINER Homer: No, I don't know what "shaden-frawde" is. [sarcastic] Homer: Please tell me, because I'm dying to know. Lisa: It's a German term for "shameful joy", taking pleasure in the suffering of others. Homer: Oh, come on Lisa. I'm just glad to see him fall flat on his butt! [getting mad] Homer: He's usually all happy and comfortable, and surrounded by loved ones, and it makes me feel... What's the opposite of that shameful joy thing of yours? Lisa: Sour grapes. Homer: Boy, those Germans have a word for everything!

BANDITS

cinema à la carte

BANDITS A 2001 film starring Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, and Cate Blanchett.  Blew us away last night.  Great, great fun;  loosely based on real characters. Great performances.

Trumping the GOP for God

Political Spaghetti

(Ann Coulter) We have never had total war against a candidate like we're seeing with Donald Trump. All elements of national media are uniting to stop him. Look for a fake Trump scandal to break -- probably from a conservative news outlet -- right before the Iowa caucus. The attacks on Trump from the "conservative" media calling him a socialist, a Democrat, a flip-flopper, a fake conservative are just name-calling. I notice that the accusers never include examples, not true ones, anyway. Here are some examples of how Trump has always been for Americans first A few months ago, an alleged Trump quote from a 1998 People magazine interview was circulating on the Internet, claiming Trump said that if he ever ran for president, he'd run as a Republican because Republican voters are "the dumbest group of voters in the country. They believe anything on Fox News. I could lie and they'd still eat it up." I pay a lot for Nexis, and Trump has never said anything remotely resembling this. Snopes.com investigated, too, and also concluded the quote was a fake. But you can probably still find some idiot tweeting it out right now. Last week, Glenn Beck "retweeted" a post allegedly tweeted by Trump the day after the 2012 election, saying: "I always vote for the winners! Congratulations to My Friend, @BarackObama!" If that doesn't sound like Trump, it's because Trump never said it. Beck's retweet sure made it look real, but you can check Trump's Twitter archive. All the stories about Trump being a fraud keep turning out to be the real frauds. (Coulter cont.) "All elements of national media are uniting to stop him." From my perspective, as a "senior" political analyst, it's been true (for at least 50 years) that the GOP candidate Democrats most rail against (fear) was the  best candidate for America in the race.  We all, I think, will generally agree with that supposition.  But, it's also true that the candidate the GOP works hardest to defeat, often in league with Democrats,  has also been the best man (or woman) running.  1n 1980 the GOP establishment  tried and failed to destroy Reagan because he was smarter than them; had the best message for America; and was more media savvy.  Donald Trump is playing that song. So the enemy of my enemy is my friend in this instance.

Little Johnny

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.  “Why?” asks his father? “ The teacher asked - “How much is 2x3” - I said 6, replies Bobby.   “But that's correct!” says his dad.  Yeah, but then she asked me -“How much is 3x2?”   “What's the fucking difference?” asks the father.   “That is what I said!”

Gluten Flootin

Gluten-free is total BS

Predicting the future

50 YEAR OLD CARTOON PREDICTS THE FUTURE But, hell, so too did even a casual perusal of recent world history.  Or reading  Orwell.  Or reading Churchill.  Or reading Jefferson. Or Santayana.  Or ...

Today's Ignorant Twat

What are they thinking?

When Democrats are in charge

Das Bernie On Sunday night... someone finally thought to ask Bernie Sanders about his home state's experience adopting a single-payer healthcare system. Vermont had planned to use Obamacare and the millions in federal grants that accompanied it as a jumping-off point for establishing its own universal state-run health insurance system. The plan had to be abandoned, however, when lawmakers and the state's Democratic governor were finally informed it would require a doubling of the state's budget. When Andrea Mitchell asked the question, Sanders gave just the sort of weak answer you'd expect. "Let me just say that you might want to ask the governor of the state of Vermont why he could not do it," Sanders said. "I'm not the governor. I'm the senator from the state of Vermont." Of course, this is a rather damning commentary on the policy. Vermont's governor, unlike its senator, has to worry about budgets balancing and taxpayer rebellions and the like. [Full] And there's this .... a list of Bernie Sanders' $19.6 trillion in tax hikes

Missouri Football Protest

BLACK RACISTS

Missouri football players refuse to play until Entire cast of CREED wins Oscar! The Oscars’ Racist Refusal to Honor Modern Black Heroes Those Bastards!

Emily Litella

KINGSMAN Meet Algore

cinema à la carte

Kingsman: The Secret Service The FBI had an open position for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were completed, they had narrowed the field down to 3 possible agents. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.'  Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair... we need you to kill her' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.'  The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife home.'  Finally, the last man was given the same instructions, to kill his wife. He took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the man, wiping the sweat from his brow. 'Some idiot loaded the gun with blanks' he said. 'I had to strangle that bitch to death'. Seems they made that joke into a movie. Kingsman: The Secret Service I haven't had so much fun since the pigs ate sister. Samuel L. Jackson plays Al Gore Reagan technology saves the day (On HBO)

Elevator Cheats +

Takin' it to the man 1. Ultimate elevator hack. To go directly to your floor, press and hold the CLOSE >|< button before the doors close. Press and hold the button for your floor while still pressing the >|< button. When the elevator starts to move, release the buttons. You will pass all other floors. MORE 4. Put a bit of water in a glass when you microwave pizza so it doesn't get chewy. 7. Phone battery dying? Switch airplane mode ON for faster charging. 11. Your new iPhone home entertainment system! 16. Need AA batteries, but only have AAAs? Use foil on the + pole. 18. Going camping? Bring some steel wool and a 9V battery to quickly start a fire. CAREFULLY hold the leads of the battery to the steel wool placed under kindling. And more ... lesser

When good people are the bad people

Police State          TEXStuff Loretta Lynch Doesn't Want You to Know

How to Escape from Handcuffs

Been 155, and counting

a major award

The Constitution of the United States, As Edited by the College Sensitivity Committee “Something strange is happening at America’s colleges and universities. A movement is arising, undirected and driven largely by students, to scrub campuses clean of words, ideas, and subjects that might cause discomfort or give offense.” The Constitution of the United States, As Edited by the College Sensitivity Committee PREAMBLE We the People [not ALL the people] of the United States [U.S.-centric!] in Order to form a more perfect Union [singles’ therapy and anatomy-neutral gingerbread persons available to uncoupled undergrads] establish Justice [students unfairly punished for “wrong” answers on organic-chemistry exam should join the Tweet for A’s study group], insure domestic Tranquility [teaching assistants who are married but still exploring their socio-sexual identities advised to stop reading now], provide for the common defence [those who have ever felt intimidated by campus security, please gather in the cafeteria, Thursday at 2 P.M., for Stoning ‘n Donuts] promote the general Welfare [warning: could cause distress to anyone not happy all the time], and secure the Blessings [anti-atheistic] of Liberty [full disclosure: I’m going outside now to dumpster-dive for lunch and do community service—it’s a beautiful day, though I mustn’t forget that the fine weather is a serious indicator of global warming] to ourselves [the Committee of Apologies feels shame that the Founding Parents used such a possessive, exclusive, and egomaniacal pronoun] and . . . [The length of this Preamble, which consists entirely of one complex sentence, is discriminatory to those suffering from A.D.D., as well as other learning issues, so we are skipping ahead to Article I, Section 1; not that we’re implying that there’s anything wrong with a disorder, or even learning, as long as it is consensual.] (original link; College Insurrection) Read the original article: The Constitution of the United States, As Edited by the College Sensitivity Committee (The New Yorker) "Every constitution, then, and every law, naturally expires at the end of nineteen years. If it be enforced longer, it is an act of force, and not of right." Tom Jefferson The subtext of which is If you allow shit to happen, it will, so God forbid we should ever be 20 years without a rebellion..

Hillary the Douchebag

"There should be no bank too big to fail and no individual too big to jail...." (Hillary Robbem; last night)

RUBIO-THIS JUST IN

Rubio Refutes Claim He Soft On Immigration By Dragging Undocumented Worker He Knocked Out Cold Onto Stage

CASE CLOSED

MURDER BOOK BINGO I watch a fair number shows of  the "Unsolved Murder" genre, mostly on ID DISCOVERY.   Where some newby detective is handed boxes of crime scene evidence from a 20 year-old unsolved homicide, and  tasked with solving it.  The crimes are invariably solved when the detective realizes that this stuff was collected before DNA was invented, but now it has, so he sends it for analysis.  The perp, now living in Florida with his wife and 6 children, is arrested.  Which begs the question: Why doesn't every police department in the USofA go through old case files and, just for the hell of it,  send blood, semen, spit samples to the crime lab?  Like, right now? Duh. Thank you.  I await my Nobel Prize.

And Stay OUT!

A few years from now .... Unplugged ASIDE The White House today issued a historic and unprecedented press release — where a male President of the United States has announced his breakup with a male staffer and longtime lover. In the press release, the term “body man” is used instead of “boyfriend”, “lover”, “paramour”, “special friend”, “f***buddy”, or all sorts of other appropriate vocabulary. But, if you’re someone who hasn’t been in a coma for the last couple of years, you know the real deal. Read more http://hillbuzz.org/bizarre-white-house-releases-statement-on-breakup-of-barack-obama-and-his-boyfriend-reggie-love-84658

Lost in the Fittys

nostalgia                                                  WHO REMEMBERS ...

There are a number of Ronnie Milsap mashups of  "Lost in the 50's,"  but this is the best. via cuzzin tricky ricky

When Obama Talks; Iran Listens?

The Obamissariat

Obama led Iran to our sailors? It doesn’t matter if “the 3 a.m. phone call” comes in the middle of the day. Not only will the Obama administration not answer it, but they’ll aid our enemies instead. First came the fact that President Barack Obama refused to address the arrest of 10 of our sailors by the Iranian military after their boats had mechanical trouble at sea. Then came news that the Obama administration had offered the Iranians an apology for the release of the sailors. Now comes the disturbing revelation, apparently delivered by Defense Secretary Ashton Carter, that the Obama administration tipped off the Iranians that our soldiers were lost at sea and requested their aid. The news came from Rep. Louie Gohmert, R-Texas, during an interview on TheBlaze’s Dana Loesch shortly after Iran’s arrest of the sailors had come to light. [Full j'accuse] I agree with Ron "Metager hat dance" who wrote: "If this is true to even the slightest degree, somebody needs to be horsewhipped and tossed into a volcano. http://www.teaparty.org/defense-secretary-slips-reveals-obama-admin-led-iran-straight-sailors-139097/ I haven't tried to confirm or corroborate it, so don't get carried away.  " Hell, I've got , at minimum, 76 reasons why the sumbitch ought be treated harshly.