Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Muzzy Uggy

BURKA! BURKA! BURKA!
I'be gome blinf

DC CRIME

Obama Stuff


Crap - I read this to mean --  I'm not making this up --  to mean that Bush was declaring martial law to prevent turning the government over to an illegal alien communist.  The tip-off was the £110m cost.  It's more like $100 trillion, and 100 million lives.  Sigh. More disappointment.  Then, there's this secret news you will only read here. . 


A routine examination of the Obamamobile disclosed an act of sabotage.  A disaffected Hillary Clinton supporter plead guilty to replacing a section of door armor with heavy duty tin foil.  Click HERE for full sized secret drawing of this wretched excess. Let him ride around in a donkey cart, that's what I say.  His supporters won't assassinate him, and his enemies, scared to death of a glut of stadia, schools, airports and highways named after the sumbitch, won't either.

HP DEALS

MM

Fried Foods

Southern Fried Pizza

One of the things I've learned on the long journey to becoming a gourmet chef, is how to handle disasters.  You have a house full of people for your dinner party, when at the last minute the soufflé falls, or the mashed potatoes are too runny, or like that.  The answer - deep fry your mistakes and serve.  Deep frying makes everything wonderful.  Works on leftover foods too, as seen here in Southern Fried Pizza.  You're welcome.  

Spackle Time

The Whipped Man's Burden

We're having a baby shower here Sunday, with company we don't know. You know what that means, don't you?  That's right.  Spackle and repaint the whole house, clean my desk, and make sure the seat's down.  That's what I'll be doing.

Lost fruit

How was your date dear?

Hey, I saw this crap movie before.

Today's Shlongderdamus
Déjà Vu-doo

I'm looking forward to hearing this plaintive plea from lib media -- "If congress doesn't give Obama the 350B bailout money, his will be a failed presidency from the start."  Obama will  successfully lobby  Rep. Marjorie Margolies-Mezvinsky (PA D)  in the House, and Sen. Bob Kerrey (D NB) in the Senate and squeak by, just.  More to look forward to. 
  • Obama Executive Order ends  "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." 
  • Michelle Obama fires the Secret Service; replaces them with the Farrakhan Republican Guard. 
  • Obama Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel commits suicide in Fort Marcy Park by cutting his head off.
  • Hillary Clinton turns over her WHO Database to Bill Ayers for "processing."  
  • A postal worker in Minnesota assassinates Al Franken.  Dems respond with The Omnibus Gun Seizure Bill.  The NRA protests.
  • WCBM in Baltimore loses it's broadcast license in the first Fairness Doctrine challenge.  Worried broadcasters nationwide drop all talk radio.  Rush Limbaugh buys the Miami Dolphins, and retires.  Ubangi Rock dominates the airwaves.
  • The FBI gives Obama's WH the list if every blogger who's called Obama a MFCS.  They disapp

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Liberal Whines

Doo-Dah
doo doo

I almost can't stand more of this racist whining from the most racist group of dew-berries on God's earth.  Time for some foot stompin' music.



PMCS

Today's Shlongderdamus Vision
Will Decide America's Fate, One Way or Another

Third dumbest thing we ever did was end the military draft.  End of discussion.

Inquisitive

Today's WTF?
Five Guesses

  1. Swedish Cub Scouts
  2. San Francisco Christian School Crisis Center
  3. Montessori School Musical Chairs
  4. Pin the Tail Party Game
  5. Hide the Cocktail Wiener

She wanted something that fit

EXCLUSIVE FIRST LOOK
Michelle Obama's Inuagural Slippers.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Bawls

A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
'Mum', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
'Not yet,' she replied.

CR

certs

Illegal Alien Breaks Into White House
Strangles Constitution


Nearly a week before his inauguration, President-elect Barack Obama likely has one less burden on his shoulders, as the United States Supreme Court denied certiorari today in the first lawsuit which called into question his constitutional eligibility to serve as president of the United States.

A motion filed by a third party seeking permission to file a amicus curiae--"friend of the court"--brief was granted, but with certiorari denied in Berg's case, it is unclear whether granting the amicus curiae motion is anything more than a formality, and whether the conference scheduled for Friday, January 16 in order to weigh an underlying injunction filed by Berg is necessary at this point. -- Jeff Schreiber continued.

Kill a Commie for Christ

Obama climate czar has socialist ties

 
Group sees 'global governance' as solution

Until last week, Carol M. Browner, President-elect Barack Obama's pick as global warming czar, was listed as one of 14 leaders of a socialist group's Commission for a Sustainable World Society, which calls for "global governance" and says rich countries must shrink their economies to address climate change.

By Thursday, Mrs. Browner's name and biography had been removed from Socialist International's Web page, though a photo of her speaking June 30 to the group's congress in Greece was still available. [WaTimes]
It doesn't matter that the scientific community has discredited man-caused global warming, and now points to a global cooling trend.  It's the tool our commie gummint needs to trump the private property doctrine, and our freedom with it.  To put things in historical perspective, we're entering 1933 Germany.  Enabling laws are being introduced that will lead to our total subjugation.  Killing them one by one, in a series of unorchestrated individual actions is the only solution I can think of, and that of course is against the law.  Sheesh.  I guess we're screwed.

There are so easy

Twenty Second Solutions

Super Fantastic Gizmondo

I remember ...
The Time I Was Able to See Pam Dobbertin's Underpants

Thanks Ovaltine!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

TCOB

UPDATED SCIENCE
Goodbyski Komerad Putin, Et Al
Look at the rollover.  What was all the stink about the Hiroshima nuke?  If one was dropped on the U.S. Capitol, on say the next SOTU address, it would barely scratch the innocent.  Hell, the White House isn't even affected. Nor the Navy Yard, or Gallaudet University.  Huh?  Oh.  I said NEITHER IS GALLAUDET UNIVERSITY.

Screw Hamas

Nuke HAMAS Ragheads
Let's get behind Linda!

If you're in Miami, look for Linda S.O.G. doing an anti-anti Israel protest.  Her sign reads "For This we gave up Gaza?"  She's wearing a gold necklace.  Take pictures.  I'm not making this up.

"Crotch Rot" Nancy

Today's Believe It Or Not
Why Pelosi is nicknamed "Crotch-rot Nancy"

NorK Fun

Today's News You'll Only Read Here
Madeleine Albright shares honor with Hillary Clinton. 

Pyongyang - North Korean leader Kim Jong Il unveils the bronze and granite sculpture he commissioned to honor former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright.   Dear Leader explained the sack covering Sec. Albright's face as being esthetically necessary. "Maddy have great body, but no so face."  He offers it as an example of his extreme  prescience.  "New Secretary Hirraly Crinton have same body, so it can serve two purpose now." 

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Golden Globes

Colon Powell

My unfortunate first meeting with Colon Powell


Puffy Biden

Great Boobs Series

Biggest Boob

Rumpole

Rumpole of the Bailey Hors D'ourve

Watch Season1Episode6-Rumpole and the Heavy Brigade in Entertainment Videos  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com
Rumpole is busy defending the youngest son of a family of villains on a murder charge. His client has all the evidence stacked against him, but meanwhile it is Rumpole's battered old bowler which is becoming the focus of bemused attention in chambers and beyond Hilda has made up her mind that Rum

This is a 5 minute preview of a 54 minute video

Install Web Player Beta to watch the full video in your browser or download it to your PC

I want off this ride

Only One of these is parody. 
Which one?   

Friday, January 09, 2009

Rotten to the Core


Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

Indict Rahm Emanuel

Tropic Toonder

Way Too Late Movie Reviews
bah

Awhile back TUA gave Tropic Thunder her highest rating ("one of the funniest films I’ve seen since 'Team America'”).   I didn't forget. We got around to watching it last night.  Here's my quick scorecard.  Guffaws=0.  Laffs= 1½, Smiles=3.  As often happens, however, my thoughts about this flick upgraded somewhat overnight. There was a certain genius too it all, but it ... was ...  I don't want to say over the top, but something was wrong.  I think I'm tired of Ben Stiller.

There's Something About Mary put him on the map for me.  Meet the Parents was good (I refused to patronize the sequel for casting reasons).  Zoolander was the best of the lot, but Stiller seems stuck in that character.   I read someplace that Tom Cruise "wowed" people with his role in Thunder.  WTF?  I wanted to slap him, possibly a carryover to  his jumping about on Oprah's couch, which thought I cannot erase.  Nick Nolte is a commie stooge, and Robert Downey, Jr - the best talent in this group, couldn't overcome the role he was handed.  Of course TUA works in the industry, so the Hollywood insider jokes may have influenced her, but I will nevertheless give her a spanking when next we meet. I give it a C-.  Next on my NetFlix  queue ... Rumpole of the Bailey: Series 6. I can give that an A+ in advance.

The Aristocrats - 2005

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Pulling the Duty

A Secret Plan

Mitch Hedberg Vein

Comedy Gold
Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg
I discovered Mitch Hedberg a few months after he evidently killed himself.  He is Steve Wright on uppers, literally, as it turns out. Anyway, finding his stuff is pretty hard, so this is like finding a gold mine.  If you're not familiar with Mitch, stick with him for 4-5 clips.  I consider him a comic genius. NSFW - language.  BTW, this site is a real treasure, the only place I've been able to find Margaret Smith, another comedian I very much enjoy.

Hawk Lunch?

Bob The Hawk is a Pussy
I watched this very hawk swoop down, grab a grackle and eviscerate  it's squawking, living victim in front of me.  So when I happened to notice Bob perched over our Wild Bill bird feeder, and watched as a copula tree rats made the scene, I grabbed the camera, ready for excitement. Buy ...  WTFF?

Batteries not included

The Bananas That Won't Die

I bought a bunch of green bananas from BJ's, circa December 18, 2008.  Do it all the time. A bunch, maybe a dozen, from BJ's cost about 1.29, while banana's from Giant are $1.29 a pound.  The banana is a core ingredient in our morning cocktail, so we use a fair amount.  Anyway, a bunch of green bananas will usually ripen over a period of a week, by which time they've been et. Not these.  The first one required use of my sharpest knife to denude it.  The pulp had the consistency chopped nuts, and tasted not so much like banana.  This is the next to last one, from this morning.  The pictures speak for themselves.  I know what you're saying, "Rodge, you boyishly handsome dildo, that's plantain!"  But I use plantain quite often, generally fried, and served with Caribbean cuisine.  Ain't never seen plantain like these.

Here's what I think.  I think now that the Banana republics no longer fear our CIA, their scientists have genetically altered the banana by crossing it with particle board to reduce spoilage.  That's what I think.  Presidents from Ike to Ronnie would have overthrown these gummints, but not this current crop of Chavez loving arseholes who rule us today.  Trust me, this is just the tip of the banana. 

Dibs on Pinch

Time To Let 'Er Rip?

I know I'm correct to believe that the only chance the United States has to survive, in semblance of our late, great selves, is via  civil war,  because the national  public debate, that give-and-take shunt which directed poisonous bile away from the  body politic, is  plugged.  There is no public debate.  There is only leftist dictate. There is obscene corruption.  There is helplessness, which will build into a fury. Count on it.

Here, conveniently presented below, is an excerpt from Coulter's book, that has the media gasping for more life sustaining sulfurous fumes.  And here's Coulter's item by item response to Media Matters, the Hillary Clinton//George Soros contrivance, of  which pollster Frank Luntz charged is  “one of the most destructive organizations associated with American politics today … They are vicious."  Coulter is spot-on, but it doesn't matter. When a tree falls in this forest, it's only reported if it impacts a  northern spotted owl, not crushes hope and freedom.

Think what a bus-sized meteorite hitting midtown  Manhattan could do for us. And pray for it.  I'm too old to be digging punji pits in Baltimore.
When the Obama family materialized, the media was seized by a mass psychosis that hadn't been witnessed since Beatlemania. OK! magazine raved that the Obamas "are such an all-American family that they almost make the Brady Bunch look dysfunctional." Yes, who can forget the madcap episode when the Bradys' wacky preacher tells them the government created AIDS to kill blacks!
 
Still gushing, OK! magazine's crack journalists reported: "Mom goes to bake sales, dad balances the checkbook, and the girls love Harry Potter" -- and then the whole family goes to a racist huckster who shouts, "God damn America!"
 
Months before network anchors were interrogating vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin on the intricacies of foreign policy, here is how NBC's Brian Williams mercilessly grilled presidential candidate Barack Obama: "What was it like for you last night, the part we couldn't see, the flight to St. Paul with your wife, knowing what was awaiting?"
 
Twisting the knife he had just plunged into Obama, Williams followed up with what has come to be known as a "gotcha" question: "And you had to be thinking of your mother and your father." Sarah Palin was memorizing the last six kings of Swaziland for her media interviews, but Obama only needed to say something nice about his parents to be considered presidential material.
 
The media's fawning over Obama knew no bounds, and yet, in the midst of the most incredible media conspiracy to turn this jug-eared clodhopper into some combination of Winston Churchill and a young Elvis, you were being a bore if you mentioned the liberal media. Oh surely we've exploded that old chestnut. ... Look! Look, Obama just lit up another Marlboro! Geez, does smoking make you look cool, or what! Yeah, Obama!.
 
The claim that there's no such thing as a left wing press is a patent lie said to enrage conservatives. Newspapers read like the press under Kim Jung Il, which, outside of a police state, looks foolish. The prose is straight out of The Daily Worker, full of triumphal rhetoric with implicit exclamation points. Still, their chanted slogans fill your brain, like one of those bad songs you can't stop humming.
 
There is no other explanation for the embarrassing paeans to Obama's "eloquence." His speeches were a run-on string of embarrassing, sophomoric Hallmark card bromides. It seemed only a matter of time before Obama would slip and tell a crowd what a special Dad it had always been to him.
 
The major theme of Obama's campaign was the audacity of his running for president. He titled his keynote address at the 2004 Democratic National Convention, "The Audacity of Hope" –- named after a sermon given by his spiritual mentor Jeremiah Wright, whom we were not allowed to mention without being accused of playing dirty tricks. (Rejected speech titles from sermons by Rev. Wright included "God Damn America!," "The U.S. of K.K.A." and "The Racist United States of America.")
 
What is so audacious about announcing that you're running for president? Every U.S. Senator has run for president or is currently thinking about running for president. Dennis Kucinich ran for president. Lyndon LaRouche used to run for president constantly.
 
But the media were giddy over their latest crush. Even when Obama broke a pledge and rejected public financing for his campaign -- an issue more dear to The New York Times than even gay marriage -- the Times led the article on Obama's broken pledge with his excuse. "Citing the specter of attacks from independent groups on the right," the Times article began, "Sen. Barack Obama announced Thursday that he would opt out of the public financing system for the general election."
 
So he had to break his pledge because he was a victim of the Republican Attack Machine.
 
When Obama broke his word and voted for the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act bill (FISA), the Times' editorial began: We are shocked and dismayed by Sen. Obama's vote on ... oh, who are we kidding? We can't stay mad at this guy! Isn't he just adorable? Couldn't you just eat him up with a spoon? Is he looking at me? Ohmigod, I think he's looking at me!!!! Couldn't you just die?
 
It has ever been thus. 
 "Guilty: Liberal Victims and Their Assault on America"

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Mug Shots

Recent Chicago P.D. Mug Shots
Tim W

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Snort

The Long Road ...
Mike sent me a newer version of this "Xerox-lore version in circulation, inscribed "1/85 found in Jim's German book" [Snopes] Whatever, it's a beauty.
Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule,
For this great nation under God
Finds public mention of him odd,
Any prayer a class recites
Now violates the bill of rights;
Any time my head I bow
Becomes a federal matter now.
Teach us of stars, of pole and equator
But make no mention of their creator;
Tell us of exports in Denmark and Sweden
But not a word of what Eve did in Eden
The law is specific, the law is precise
Praying out loud is no longer nice;
Praying aloud in a public hall
Upsets believers in nothing at all.
In silence alone can we meditate
And if God gets the credit.... great!
This rule, however has a gimmick in it:
You've got to be finished in less than a minute;
So all that I ask is a minute of quiet
If I feel like praying, then maybe I'll try it;
If not, oh Lord, this plea I make,
If I die in school, my soul you'll take.
This version is simply signed "Anonymous" — no claims are made that it was penned by an anonymous student.

Killing Frankenstein

DIY
Safely Recalling the Fraudulently Elected  Democrat


Man Milk

Today's Male Oasis

Illegal Murder

Grrrrrr.
Mood destroyer 101
Now that I have a new shiny Sony Bravia Cuisinart flat panel HD telebision, MoSup and I have gone back using NetFlix, and watching movies for the pure visual  delight of it all, if nothing else ... and we don't even have a HD player yet (bought one yesterday from WOOT).  This weekend we watched WAITRESS, which I thought I'd discovered, but it turns out everyone we know has seen it.  Yes, it qualifies as a chick flick, but one with gonads.  I truly loved it, so did MoSup.  But that's not what I wanted to tell you, which you prolly already know.  At the end of the film was a "Dedicated to Adrienne Shelly" caption.  Adrienne Shelly wrote the script, directed the movie, and acted the role of one of the waitresses.  I of course Googled her to find this - ADRIENNE SHELLY'S KILLER PLEADS GUILTY.  After the movie was finished, but before it was released, Adrienne was strangled to death by an illegal immigrant when she caught him burgling her.  This was in Manhattan.  Here's what knocked me out.
In his courtroom confession, Diego Pillco, an illegal immigrant from Ecuador, recounted how he choked the wife and mother with a sheet, strung her body up from a shower rod and fled -- hoping to make the murder look like a suicide.

Pillco, 20, will get 25 years in prison -- almost certainly followed by deportation -- as a result of today's Manhattan Supreme Court guilty plea to first degree manslaughter.
The country is ready for a Schlong Regency, click-click.

I'd run a mile for one

Today's Sammich Art

BBS

Barn Army Communications
Retro Action

In anticipation of the coming crackdown on Internet communication by enemy gummint, it struck me that the Barn Army would be well advised to have an alternative line of communication.  I'm thinking a retrograde bulletin board system based on Kermit, or somesuch.  Is there anyone out there with the expertise to advise on how this can be done? 

Wheelchair Willy

Today's Retrospective
How George H. W. Bush's "Kinder, Gentler America" worked out.

LOL, Wheelchair Willy is holding a MAC-10 behind that sign.

Killer Angels II

I heard what you're saying.
"But Rodge, aren't you way over the top, even for this site, to suggest the United States gummint has been overthrown by comminists, who first siezed, and now control our print and electronic news delivery media, and that's why it's okay to park trucks loaded with fertilizer and anthrax in front of their buildings, and slash car tires and key the paint of anyone associated with them?  How can you say that? "

NBC CUTS COULTER; KEEPS PEREZ
The nation's top selling conservative author has been banned from appearing on NBC, insiders tell the DRUDGE REPORT.

"We are just not going to have her on any more, it's over," a top network source explains.

But a second top suit strongly denies there is any "Coulter ban".

"Look for a re-invite, as soon as Wednesday," said the news executive, who asked not to be named.

NBC's TODAY show abruptly cut Ann Coulter from its planned Tuesday broadcast, claiming the schedule was overbooked.

Executives at NBC TODAY replaced Coulter with showbiz reporter Perez Hilton, who recently offered $1,000 to anyone who would throw a pie at Ann Coulter. Hilton is also launching a new book this week, RED CARPET SUICIDE.


Coulter was set to unveil her new book, GUILTY.

One network insider claims it was the book's theme -- a brutal examination of liberal bias in the new era -- that got executives to dis-invite the controversialist.

"We are just not interested in anyone so highly critical of President-elect Obama, right now," a TODAY insider reveals. "It's such a downer. It's just not the time, and it's not what our audience wants, either."
  Others inside the peacock network strongly deny the book's theme is at issue.

For the book, Coulter reportedly received the most-lucrative advance ever paid to a conservative author.

The TODAY show eagerly invited the author months ago, for her first network interview on GUILTY.

The exclusive was to air during the show's 7 AM hour. The cut came Monday afternoon.

Coulter was also to appear on the TODAY's fourth hour. A host even teased the segment saying the 'conservative pit bull and bestselling author' would be a guest.

NBC's cable outlet, MSNBC, will also become a Coulter-free zone, insiders explain. Morning host Joe Scarborough is said to be concerned with the new ban. "He's working to overrule it," tips a source.

Developing..

Disclaimer:   - Whatever you're thinking ain't my fault. I'm just the media.  And we're at war.